Sometimes it Ain't Enough
by Addie Logan
Summary: Rogue tries learning to live with and without Logan.
1. (1/9)

Chapter One

Disclaimer: Things I don't own: Any character in this story, any song used in this story, any movie, television show, etc. mentioned in this story, Twinkies. Who does own them: Some rich person who isn't me. What I'm not gaining off this: Profit (Don't ask what I _am_ gaining, 'cause I'm not sure…) Who not to sue: Me—I'm just a bored kid with nothing better to do then warp the lives of my favorite characters.

Summary: As the years go by, Rogue attempts to live with and without Logan. **Major Angst Warning!!!**

Rating: R (adult language, mild violence, and mild adult content)

Feedback and Archiving: Feedback is always highly appreciated. My email address is [addie_logan@yahoo.com][1] and my AIM screen name is MrsPeteWisdom. Constructive criticism will be accepted and considered whereas flames and stupid comments will be deleted gleefully. You can archive this story anywhere you want, just email me and let me know where you're putting it.

Thanks to: Alex for being my critic and sounding board and Gables for making the phone ring. ;-)

Shameless Personal Plug: Visit my Webpage! ([http://www.angelfire.com/scifi/addielogan][2])

Sometimes it Ain't Enough

By: Addie Logan

__ ****

I keep thinkin' any minute you'll be comin' home honey   
I ain't seen nothin' of you in a month of Sundays   
Tell me how long gone are you gonna be? 

All you said was you had to get goin'   
Oh but baby I wouldn't mind knowin' just   
How long gone are you gonna be? 

How am I supposed to make any plans   
When I still don't even understand   
If you're ever gonna come back home to me   
Tell me please   
How long gone are you gonna be?

Maybe I didn't pay enough attention   
But I do believe you forgot to mention   
Just how long gone are you gonna be? 

The phone ain't ringin', 'cause you ain't callin'   
I ain't been hearin' your footsteps fallin'   
Tell me how long gone are you gonna be?

How am I supposed to make any plans   
When I still don't even understand   
If you're ever gonna come back home to me   
Tell me please   
How long gone are you gonna be?

*** *** ***

Rogue was sitting on the couch watching television with her friends when he came back. She was wearing a T-shirt that read "I hear voices in my head and they don't like you," and the dogtags he'd given her were still around her neck.

But those weren't the first things he noticed.

He noticed that she wasn't wearing gloves.

And her hand was resting on Bobby Drake's bare arm.

Logan stared for a moment before he decided to make his presence known. He cleared his throat and she looked at him. "Hey, Kid."

Logan watched as recognition slowly crossed over Rogue's face. "Logan!" she cried as she jumped up from her place beside Bobby and ran to throw her arms around Wolverine's neck.

He lifted her off the ground in a tight hug and she giggled a little. When he put her back down, she grinned up at him. He glanced from her face to the dogtags and she reached up to touch them with her pale, ungloved fingers. "I still have these," she said.

Logan stopped her before she could take them off. "Keep 'em. They look better on you than they ever did on me anyway."

Rogue blushed and began to fiddle with the tags nervously.

Logan grinned, glad to see that the greeting she gave him was almost exactly as he had expected. He'd clung to the fact that things back in New York would be the same when he returned. And they seemed to be—except for the Marie gloveless thing, but he could handle that. He made a mental note to ask her about it a little later.

"Nice shirt."

Rogue laughed. "Jubilee gave it to me for Christmas," she explained.

"Is what it says true?"

"Well, one of the voices in my head is _yours_, after all."

"Good point." Logan looked up and noticed that her group of friends had become an audience to their reunion. "Uh, I'm gonna go upstairs and try to find the Professor. Talk to you later, okay Kid?"

Rogue nodded. "Okay, Logan. And I think the Professor's in his office."

"All right. Thanks." He ruffled her hair a little before turning to leave.

"Logan!" Rogue ran out into the hall after him.

He stopped and turned around. "Yeah?"

"I meant to ask ya if you found what you were lookin' for up north."

"I don't want to talk about that right now."

"Later?"

"Maybe."

Rogue nodded, understanding. "Kay. See ya, Logan."

He grinned. "See ya, Marie."

All in all, he thought it was a pretty good homecoming.

*** *** ***

Logan was glad to see that most everything else at the mansion had remained the same, too. Well, Jean had gone and married Scott, but he'd known that was going to happen. Besides, he wasn't above flirting with a married woman—especially since he knew she'd never give in. He'd come to that conclusion on the Statue of Liberty with the way Jean had told Scott to trust her. Scott hadn't even hesitated to open his eyes after that. 

But that certainly didn't mean that making Jean blush and Scott angry was going to be crossed off Wolverine's list of favorite things to do anytime soon.

The Professor had told Logan that he still had a place on the team, and Logan said he'd help out—as long as he stayed. He'd made the last part perfectly clear. This wasn't his home, and he wasn't staying for good. Of course, that didn't mean that when he did leave, he wouldn't come back.

Rogue clung to him every chance she got. Apparently the adolescent crush she'd developed on him before was still firmly in place. He welcomed her company and the ego stroke he felt from her hero worship.

Well, that and he found that—surprisingly—he liked having her around. Logan didn't remember a time when he had actually enjoyed anyone's company as much as he did Rogue's.

Logan had been back for about a week when Marie began the ritual of doing her homework up in his room. Why, he wasn't sure, but he figured that it was just an excuse for her to be near him. And he didn't mind so much.

He was lying back on his bed, head propped up on pillows, chewing on the end of a cigar because he knew it bothered her when he smoked in enclosed spaces. Normally, he would've just told someone to shove it if they didn't want him smoking, but not Marie. He liked to see her smile and he didn't like to see her frown, simple as that.

So he was lying on his back, just chewing on his cigar, and watching her as she sat at his desk and scribbled furiously on a piece of paper. She sighed, flipped the pencil over, and began erasing furiously. "You're gonna rub a hole right through the paper there, Kid," Logan said, still chomping on the cigar.

"For the five millionth time, Logan," Marie grumbled in the Southern drawl that he found surprisingly endearing, "Be quiet so I can concentrate."

"If I annoy ya so much, why are ya in here?" Logan asked.

"Because you aren't half as distractin' as my roommates."

"You room with Kitty and Jubilee. What did you expect?"

"Pretty much what I got. Now hush back there!"

Logan smirked around his stogie, chuckling at the frustrated little noises Rogue was making. After a while, she grabbed the paper she was working on, crumpled it into a ball, and threw it across the room.

"Hey, don't go makin' a mess in here," Logan said.

Marie turned around and glared at him. He tried to look tough and not smile. "Pick that up."

She glared it him again for good measure and then went over to retrieve the paper ball. She got a mischievous look on her face, and suddenly, the wad of paper flew out of her hand and over to Logan, knocking the cigar from his mouth.

"Hey!" he said, his dignity wounded. He picked the cigar up from the bedspread and set it in his ashtray. Then, his lips curled in a mimic of her own impish grin and he picked the paper ball up and threw it back at her.

Rogue stared at him for a moment, stunned, then the paper ball was thrown back in his direction.

Logan got off the bed, paper in hand.

This meant war.

*** *** ***

Fifteen minutes and about twenty paper balls later, Scott Summers came running into the room. "What's going on in here?" he asked.

Both Rogue and Logan stopped and looked up at Scott, almost guiltily. Logan quickly regained his normal, cocky attitude. "What the hell are ya doin' bustin' in here like that, One-Eye?"

"I heard Rogue scream."

Rogue blushed. Logan glared. "She's fine. Go away."

Scott surveyed the room and the little balls of paper all around the room. "Okay…I'll, um, leave now."

Logan crossed his arms. "You do that."

Scott gave a nod to Rogue then slunk out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

As soon as he was gone, Marie broke into a fit of giggles, and it didn't take too long for Logan to start laughing, too. "What _was_ that exactly?" Rogue asked once she could talk again.

"Scott bein' a dick as usual."

Marie snickered. "No, not that."

"Oh. _That_. A paper ball fight."

"Since when do you have paper ball fights, Wolverine?"

"Since you started throwin' paper at me. Couldn't let that go without standin' up for myself."

Marie laughed again, and Logan decided he really liked that sound. "You're a mess."

"I try, Kid."

Marie went back over to his desk and gathered up her books. "Hey, it's gettin' late, and I really should go back to my room. I had fun tonight with you, Logan."

"Me, too, Marie."

Rogue stood up on her tiptoes and kissed Logan on the cheek. "G'night. I'll see you in the mornin'."

"Yeah, see ya in the mornin'." Logan reached up and touched the place on his cheek where she'd kissed him. "Hey, Marie," he called out as she made her way to the door. "I've been meanin' to ask ya, when did you get your powers under control?"

Marie stopped and turned back around to look at him. "A couple of months ago. The Professor and I worked on it a lot, and I now I'm finally able to touch people."

Logan beamed down at her. "That's great, Kid. I'm real happy for ya."

"Yeah. I'm happy, too."

"I bet." Logan looked thoughtful for a second, then asked, "Hey, are you and that one kid—Bobby—an item?"

Rogue seemed to get uncomfortable at the question. "Uh, why do you ask?"

"I don't know, it's just that you were sittin' real close to him when I first got back, and you spend a lot of time with him—when you're not with me, that is."

"Would it bother you if we were?" Rogue asked.

"No. I'm just curious."

"Oh," Marie said softly. "Well, we're not—really. I mean, we've been on a few dates and stuff, but nothin' too serious. I wouldn't call us an 'item.'"

"Would he?"

"I don't know. I'm goin' now. Night, Logan."

"Night, Marie."

Marie hurried out before Logan could ask her anymore questions.

*** *** ***

Rogue came into her room, threw her books down, and flopped on the bed. Kitty and Jubilee both turned to look at her. "Uh, something wrong?" Kitty asked.

"Nope," Rogue replied.

"Liar," Jubilee said. "C'mon, what did Logan do?"

"He didn't do anything, Jubes."

"But you're all pouty," Jubilee said. "Has to be Logan."

"Was it Bobby?" Kitty offered.

Rogue sighed, staring up at the ceiling. "It wasn't Logan and it wasn't Bobby. Not really, anyway."

"'Not really anyway?' What does that mean?" Jubilee asked.

Rogue propped on her elbow so she was facing her friends. "It means, well, that it isn't them, but a situation _involvin'_ them, I guess."

"Do tell," Kitty said.

"Well, Logan asked if Bobby and I were an item," Rogue explained.

Jubilee shrugged. "So? He wouldn't be the first person to ask that."

"I know," Rogue said, "But see, it was _Logan_ askin', and well, I, um…"

"You're madly in love with him, we know that, Rogue," Jubilee said.

Rogue sat up. "I am not!"

"Then why did the fact he started asking about Bobby bother you so much?"

Rogue looked away. "I…I don't know."

"I do," Jubilee muttered.

"Look, so what if I do like Logan as more than a friend?" Rogue said, "What difference does it make? I'm always gonna be a kid in his eyes."

"So try to make yourself something other than a kid to him," Kitty said.

Rogue rolled her eyes. "Right. Like that's ever gonna happen."

"It could!" Kitty said.

"I have an idea," Jubilee said.

"What?" Rogue asked.

"Dye your hair red and wear a white lab coat!" Jubilee exclaimed.

"I hate you," Rogue said, stifling a giggle.

Jubilee gave her a mock-pout. "Well, I think it's worth a try."

"Y'all are both insane, you know that, right?" Rogue said flopping back on her bed.

"Oh, so she's madly in love with a furry guy with claws and _we're_ insane?" Jubilee commented. "Ow!" she said a moment later when Rogue's pillow hit her squarely in the chest. "I hope you know, you're not getting this back."

Rogue reached over to Jubilee's bed and snatched her pillow. "That's okay. I got yours now."

"Bitch."

"Hussy."

"Such love in this room," Kitty commented.

"Aw, come on, Kit, you know the only time any emotion even close to love came into this room—aside from Rogue's constant 'yearning-for-Logan' spells—was when that big Russian kid came in here looking to borrow a book and you about fell over yourself," Jubilee said.

Kitty turned bright red. "I did not!"

Rogue hugged Jubilee's pillow to her chest. "Hey, cut her some slack, Jubes," Rogue said. "You know Kitty can't help but be attracted to big, shiny things."

"Hey!" Kitty exclaimed. "You guys are pure evil!"

"You better believe it," Jubilee said. "Muahaha!"

Rogue looked over at the digital clock on the table between her and Jubilee's bed. "It's getting late, y'all and we've all got class in the mornin'. We should get to sleep."

Jubilee groaned. "Oh yeah, no fun allowed for the modern mutated college student."

Kitty shrugged. "Hey, I don't know about you guys, but I kinda like the fact that the Professor has it set up so we can stay at the mansion and take distance learning classes from a local college."

Jubilee rolled her eyes. "You would."

Kitty reached over and phased her arm though Jubilee. "Ah! That feels freaky!" Jubilee exclaimed.

Kitty giggled. "That's the point."

Rogue got up and grabbed her nightclothes. "Well, I don't know what y'all plan to do, but I'm goin' to bed."

"You gonna dream about Logan?" Jubilee asked with a smirk.

Rogue gave her friend a weak smile as she thought about the nightmares that had haunted her ever since the first time she'd touched Wolverine. "Yeah, Jubes, I probably am." With that, she went into the bathroom and shut the door.

*** *** ***

Logan had been back at the mansion for a two months, and Rogue stopped following him around quite as much, allowing herself to get used to the idea that maybe he was going to stick around for a while this time. 

Exactly three months after he got back, Rogue found herself sitting on the couch with her friends, watching a movie, mimicking almost to the letter what she had been doing when Logan first returned. She was even wearing the same shirt.

"What's this movie called again?" St. John asked.

"_Where the Heart Is_," Jubilee replied.

St. John groaned. "Ack, the _title_ even sounds like a sappy chick flick. How did I get roped into watching this? And what's with that woman that names all her kids after snack foods?"

"Hey, man, that's _Ashley Judd_," Bobby said. "Don't go dissin' Ashley Judd. She's hot. Besides, I still like the part where the guy called one of her kids 'Twinkie.'"

"Oh jeez, here we go again," Jubilee groaned.

"What? I just think it would be really cool to have a kid named Twinkie!"

"Bobby Drake, not only will you never find a woman that will allow you to name a child _Twinkie_, but you will never find a woman to have a child with you. Period," Jubilee said.

"Oh yeah," Bobby said with a grin. He turned to Rogue, taking her hands in his and doing his best to look as serious as possible. "Fair Rogue, would you do me the honor of having my lovechild?" 

"Ah! I am not givin' birth to a Twinkie!"

"Well that's nice to know."

Rogue looked up to see who had said that and noticed that Logan standing in the doorway. Mortified, she turned bright red. "Uh, I, um—there's an explanation to that!"

Logan grinned. "I figured as much. C'mere, Kid, I need to talk to you."

Rogue felt like something cold had reached in and grabbed her stomach as she walked over to Logan and noticed he had a bag slung over his shoulder. "You runnin' again?" she asked, her voice soft and cracking.

"I have some stuff to take care of up north."

Rogue forced herself not to cry. She had been strong the first time Logan had left, and she was going to be this time, even though after all the time she'd gotten to spend with him over the past few months it was killing her even more than before. "What, got season tickets to the Canadiens or somethin'?" she joked.

Logan smiled at her. "I wish. Look, I'll be back real soon, I promise."

"You better."

He tapped the dogtags around her neck with his finger. "You're gonna take care of these for me, right?"

"I always do."

Rogue stepped forward and hugged him. "And you take care of yourself."

Logan chuckled, and Marie swooned from the way the sound rumbled in his chest. "You got it, Kid."

"Write me this time, okay Logan?" Marie said as she pulled away.

"I'll try."

"Please?"

"I gotta go, Kid. Bye Marie."

"Bye Logan."

Rogue stared at the closed door long after Wolverine was already gone.

*** *** ***

Rogue walked back to the couch fighting tears. She sat down next to Bobby, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her head down to rest on him. "Hey, Rogue, you okay?" he asked.

She couldn't keep herself from crying any longer. 

Jubilee paused the movie and all eyes were on Rogue. "What happened?" Jubilee asked.

"Logan…left…again…"Rogue replied between sobs.

Bobby softly petted her hair. "Shh, it's okay, Rogue. He'll come back."

Kitty placed her hand comfortingly on Rogue's leg. "Yeah, it'll be okay, really. Logan won't stay away long."

Rogue sniffed. "I know, but he's been gone for like a minute, and I miss him already."

"I'm really sorry, Rogue," St. John muttered, unsure of what else to say or do.

"Ain't your fault," Rogue said. "Hey, if it's all right with y'all, I'm gonna go upstairs."

"Alright, Girl. You need anything, you let us know, okay?" Jubilee said.

Rogue nodded. "I will. Thanks."

She walked up to her room, avoiding even looking at anyone, then threw herself down on her bed and cried in a way she hadn't since the first time Logan left.

*** *** ***

To be continued…

   [1]: mailto:addie_logan@yahoo.com
   [2]: http://www.angelfire.com/scifi/addielogan



	2. (2/9)

Chapter Two

"Man, this has been going on for a month now. I'm really getting worried about her," Jubilee whispered to her friends after Rogue sulked out of the room after yet another fruitless mail call.

"Why does she think he's going to write her this time?" Bobby asked. "He didn't the last time."

"Because she asked him to," Kitty answered. "But if you ask Rogue, she isn't even thinking about it and could care less if he writes or not."

"Which is exactly why she runs out of here like she's about to cry every time they pass out the mail," Jubilee said, rolling her eyes.

"Hmm…Denial—not good," St. John said.

"More like saving face, I think," Kitty said. "She wants to believe that Logan will be there for her, but rationally she knows he's unreliable, so she acts like it doesn't bother her in order to keep us from looking badly on her."

"Why thank you for the insight there, Dr. Laura," Jubilee muttered.

Kitty just stuck her tongue out at her.

"Maybe one of you girls should go talk to Rogue," Bobby suggested.

Jubilee shrugged. "Tried that. She just acts like nothing's wrong and then shuts off from the conversation completely, turning on the radio or television or something."

"I can't believe he does this to her!" Bobby exclaimed, slamming his fist into the table. The others turned to look at him, surprised by his uncharacteristic display of anger. "She's obviously crazy about him, and he doesn't even care! He just strings her along until he gets bored here and runs off. I mean, if he doesn't want her, he could at least have the decency to tell her, instead of just allowing those notions of how whatever they have can someday grow into love stay in her head!"

"Maybe he doesn't realize she cares for him as deeply as she does," Kitty said, trying, as always, to be positive.

"How can he not notice?" Bobby asked. "Damn, she might as well be wearing a neon sign that says 'I worship the ground Wolverine walks on!'"

"Well, in his defense, I don't think he's exactly the most observant person in the world when it comes to things like that," Kitty said. "And he hasn't spent quite as much time with Rogue as we have, either."

Bobby sighed. "That's my point, Katherine."

"She's young," Kitty said. "He's her first serious crush, and Rogue is the Princess of Angst. Eventually, she'll get tired of wallowing in the pain he causes her and move on to pursue a more realistic relationship."

"I wish she'd hurry up on that last part," Bobby grumbled.

Kitty put her hand on his shoulder. "Look, Drake, I know how crazy about Rogue you are, but what she really needs out of you right now is friendship. Her being able to control her powers has thrown her for more of a loop than you realize, and Logan coming back and then running off again hasn't helped to clear her head any. So just chill out for a while—no pun intended—and let her figure out what's best for her on her own."

"I will," Bobby said. "I just keep wishing she'll just turn to me and tell me that I'm what's best for her."

Kitty looked up as a new person entered the room. She sighed. "I know exactly what you mean, Bobby."

"Uh-oh, it's Peter. Well, that's it folks, we've lost Kitty," St. John said.

Jubilee snickered. "Yep. Lost her in the maze that is his rippling pectorals. Hey Kit, I think that's drool on your chin."

Kitty glared at her. "Leave me alone. I can't help that I'm in the presence of a god!"

Jubilee rolled her eyes. "Oh whatever. And if you're so nuts about him, why don't you just go talk to him?"

Kitty paled at the suggestion. "I can't do that! What if he doesn't want to talk to me?"

"Probably wouldn't even see you, since you come up to what, his kneecaps?" St. John said. Jubilee kicked him under the table. "Ow!"

"Behave, Johnny." Jubilee turned back over to Kitty. "Really, just go up and say hi. There's no real risk in that. I mean, he does know who you are and all."

Some color began to return to Kitty's face in the form of a blush. "I…I would make an idiot of myself, I know I would!"

Jubilee put her arm around Kitty. "Aw, C'mon, Girl, you make an idiot of yourself in front of us all the time and we still love you!"

Kitty laughed a little. "Somehow, I find that comforting."

"Does that mean you're gonna talk to him?"

"Nope."

Jubilee sighed. "You're worse than Rogue."

Kitty turned around to continue her wistful gazing.

*** *** ***

**__**

I used to think maybe you loved me, now baby I'm sure  
And I just can't wait till the day when you knock on my door  
Now every time I go for the mailbox, gotta hold myself down  
'Cause I just can't wait till you write me you're comin' around

Rogue turned over in her bed and pulled a pillow over her head, trying to tune out Jubilee who, in her unexplained obsession with eighties music, was singing loudly along with a CD she'd just burned.

**__**

Now I'm walking on sunshine  
I'm walking on sunshine  
I'm walking on sunshine  
And don't it feel good  
Hey! All right now  
And don't it feel good  
Hey! Yeah!

Rogue let out a muffled whimper into the pillow, doing her best to convince herself that it was the cheeriness of the song at a time when she wanted to be anything but cheery that was annoying her, not that she was actually becoming _jealous_ of whomever it was who was going to get a letter that told her the man of her dreams was coming home.

**__**

I used to think maybe you loved me, now I know that it's true  
And I don't wanna spend my whole life just a waitin' for you  
Now don't want you back for the weekend, not back for a day  
I said baby I just want you back and I want you to stay  
I'm walkin' on sunshine  
I'm walkin' on sunshine

I'm walkin' on sunshine And don't it feel good… 

"Ah!" Rogue sat up. "Could ya turn that crap off?!"

Jubilee turned around, looking offended. "Katrina and the Waves is not crap!"

"That evil song is!"

Jubilee cocked an eyebrow. "Don't tell me that reminded you of Logan."

Rogue flopped back on the bed. "Everything reminds me of Logan."

"Now that's just sad."

"Tell me about it."

Jubilee sat down on the edge of her own bed. "You can't keep doing this."

"Doing what?"

"Brooding over that asshole."

Rogue glared at her. "Logan is _not_ an asshole."

Jubilee snorted. "Coulda fooled me."

Rogue crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. "You don't know 'im like I do, Jubes."

"Maybe not, but I do know that he's must be a self-centered prick for making my best friend cry."

"I'm not cryin'."

"Not right now."

Rogue sat back up and drew her knees up to her chin. "You don't understand. Logan's a part of me. _Literally_. I can't just push that all away. And whether he treats me the way he probably should, or even realizes that I care about him as much as I do or not, I don't care. I'm willin' to suffer for an eternity if it means I get to spend even a moment with him."

Jubilee sighed. "You need help."

Rogue looked down and forced back tears. "I know."

"Look, how about me an' you an' Kitty go out on the town tonight? It's Saturday, so we don't have any classes tomorrow and a girls' night out could be just what you need."

Rogue sighed. "I…I don't know…I think I'd rather just stay home and…"

"And what? Brood? Stare at his dogtags and wish you were holding him instead? Watch sappy romantic comedies and drown your sorrows in a pint of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia? What Rogue? What's a better way to spend your night?"

"I like Phish Food," Rogue said. "You're the one that likes Cherry Garcia."

Jubilee smiled. "Right. So come on, go out with us. There is fun out there that doesn't involve Logan."

"Maybe."

"You know there is. We used to have it all the time before he came back here and crushed your heart yet again."

Rogue sighed again. "I know." She looked up. "All right, I'll go with y'all."

Jubilee grinned. "Great! We'll leave, say, seven-thirtyish?"

"Fine. I'll try to be ready."

Jubilee shook her head. "No. Try not. Do or kick your ass, I will. There is no try."

Rogue laughed. "All right then, Yoda-lee."

"You'll be ready to go then?"

"Yep."

"Cool. I'm gonna go warn Kitty that she'll be clubbin', 'kay?"

"Sure."

"And stop the angst-fest! You're gonna have fun tonight whether you like it or not!"

Rogue gave her a mock-salute. "Yes, Master!"

Jubilee gave an exaggerated grin before going off to find Kitty.

*** *** ***

****He pushed me 'round, now I'm drawin' the line  
He lived his life, now I'm gonna go live mine  
I'm sick of wastin' my time  
  
Well now, I've been good for way too long  
Found my red dress, and I'm gonna throw it on  
'Bout to get too far gone  
  
Praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition  
Need a little bit more of my twelve-ounce nutrition  
One more helpin' of what I've been havin'  
I'm takin' my turn on the sin wagon __

On a mission to make somethin' happen  
Feel like Delilah lookin' for Sampson  
Do a little mattress dancin'  
That's right, I said mattress dancin'

Jubilee covered her ears and whimpered. "Why didn't anyone warn me it was country and western night?" she cried.

Kitty giggled. "I figured you knew. It is the third Saturday of the month."

"So that's why this is usually our stay at home and eat pizza while torturing Johnny and Bobby night?" Jubilee asked, looking as pitiful as possible.

"Yup," Kitty replied.

"Let's go home," Jubilee whined. "This music—for lack of a better word—is torture!"
    
    "It's the Dixie Chicks," Rogue told her.

"Like I said: _Torture_."

Rogue took hold of Jubilee's arm and started dragging her towards the dance floor. "You said you wanted me to come out and have a good time, and now here we are. Besides, we already paid the cover charge."

"Which was entirely too much. I mean, why should we have to shell out the big bucks just because we fall in the category of 'over eighteen, under twenty-one?'" Jubilee asked, resuming the rant she had begun before she realized she was being assaulted with country music.

"I guess they figure they have to do something to have us make up for the fact that we'll be forced to drink Cokes all night," Kitty said, following the other two.

Jubilee planted her feet firmly on the ground right before they reached the dance floor. "Uh-uh, Roguie. I am _not_ dancin' to this."

"Oh, c'mon Jubes. I'll teach ya how to two-step!"

Jubilee glared at her. "I shoulda known you'd like this, Miss Mississippi."

"Well Ah guess Ah jus' can't hide mah roots," Rogue said, exaggerating her accent.

Jubilee rolled her eyes. "Oh, Brother."

"Hey, it's the fastest way to get me to stop thinkin' about Logan…"

Jubilee shook her head. "The things I do for you…"

****Praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition  
Need a little bit more of what I've been missin'  
I don't know where I'll be crashin'  
But I'm arrivin' on a sin wagon  
  
When it's my turn to march up to glory  
I'm gonna have one hell of a story  
That's if he forgives me  
Oh Lord, please forgive me  
  
Praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition  
Need a little bit more of that sweet salvation  
They may take me with my feet draggin'  
But I'll fly away on a sin wagon

*** *** ***

All the eyes in the club were on Rogue that night, and she had to admit she was loving it. She'd dance with one guy until she wore him out, then she'd move on to someone else. And when it was time for the club to close, she didn't want to go.

Rogue was giggling as she, Kitty, and Jubilee walked out to their car. "Wow, I can't believe I had such a good time!" she exclaimed. "And I didn't even think about Logan once!"

Jubilee and Kitty broke out into a round of applause.

"And how many guys hit on you exactly tonight?" Jubilee asked.

"I lost count."

"I still can't believe you actually gave some of them your phone number."

Rogue laughed. "Nah, I gave them Jenny's number."

Kitty was confused. "Huh? Who's Jenny?"

"867-5309."

Kitty's expression was blank. "I still don't get it."

Jubilee and Rogue looked at each other and broke into song:

"Jenny I got your number

I need to make you mine

Jenny, don't change your number.

Eight six seven five three oh nine!"

Kitty shook her head. "Oh God."

"I got it!"

"I got it!"

"I got your number on the wall!"

"I got it!"

"I got it!"

"For a good time"

"For a good time call!"

"Please! No more!" Kitty yelled.

Rogue and Jubilee stopped singing and began to laugh hysterically. "And you thought my love for eighties music would never come in handy," Jubilee said, slinging her arm around Rogue's shoulder.

Rogue smiled at her. "Well Gal, you won't hear me sayin' this often, but I was wrong."

*** *** ***

As the months rolled by, Rogue found that she was actually able to push thoughts of Logan out of her mind for long periods of time—days even. She still wore his tags, but she didn't constantly dwell on their heavy feeling around her neck, and she often forgot they were there completely. When she did think of Logan now, she found that she could smile, knowing that he had promised he'd come back and eventually, he would. 

"Chips?"

"Check."

"Pretzels?"

"Check."

"Popcorn?"

"Check."

"Artificially flavored cheese snack?"

"Check."

"Coke?"

"Check."

"Twinkies?"

"Oh gawd, Jubes, do we have to have Twinkies?"

"It's _movie night_, Rogue. Of course we have to have Twinkies!"

Rogue sighed. "But I never want to see another Twinkie as long as I live! Bobby keeps putting them in my room, in my purse, and anywhere else he thinks I might be surprised to find a Twinkie!"

Jubilee snickered. "Aw, you know you don't mind, Twinkie Mama!"

"Would you stop callin' me that!"

"So do we have Twinkies or not?"

Rogue groaned. "Yeah, we've got Twinkies."

"Good," Jubilee said with her normal, mischievous grin. "Then we should be set."

Rogue slumped back onto the couch, content just to be able to spend time with the people who she cared about the most.

All was right with the world.

*** *** ***

"Hey, Marie—Kid, wake up."

Marie slowly opened her eyes, then bolted up. "Logan! What are you doing here?" she hissed.

"Shh," Logan scolded her in a harsh whisper. "You'll wake up your roommates."

Marie brought her voice down, then asked again. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm back."

"I noticed that. I mean, what are you doing _here_—in my room."

"I didn't want to wait until tomorrow to see you. I missed ya."

Marie rolled her eyes. "Really? Coulda fooled me."

Logan looked almost guilty. "Look Marie, I'm sorry I didn't write you, it's just that I'm not very good at that sorta thing."

Marie sighed. "That's all right, really. It's not like I sat around waiting to hear from you or anything."

"I didn't think ya would."

"Logan, I'm glad you're home, but I'm really tired. Can I go back to sleep and talk to ya in the mornin'?"

"Sure Kid."

Marie laid back down. "Night, Logan."

He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. "Night, Marie."

"Night, Logan."

He crept out of her room without ever waking Jubilee or Kitty.

*** *** ***

Marie woke up in a good mood that, at first, she couldn't quite explain. Then she remembered—Logan. He was back. Her lips curled up in a smile for a moment, and then down into a frown. What if it had been a dream? She'd had plenty of dreams where Logan came home, but none of them had seemed quite as vivid as what had happened the night before. Still, she had to go out and make sure as quickly as possible.

Marie climbed out of bed and began rummaging through her closet, trying to find something to wear. Suddenly, with the prospect of being able to see Logan looming over her, nothing seemed to be good enough. She finally gave up and settled for jeans and a form-fitting T-shirt.

She was putting on her make-up when Jubilee woke up. "Where you goin'?" she asked groggily.

"Downstairs."

"You're puttin' on make-up to go downstairs?"

Rogue blushed. "Logan's back."

Jubilee flopped down on her bed. "And how do we spell pitiful? R-O-G-U-E." She got quiet for a second then rolled over to face Rogue. "How do you know he's back?"

"He came in here last night," Rogue explained.

"I didn't hear him."

"He was real quiet."

"Sure you didn't dream it?"

Rogue sighed. "Yeah, I'm sure. Look, I gotta go try to find him. See ya later."

Jubilee closed her eyes again. "Have fun. Hope he's really back."

"No you don't."

Jubilee smiled. "Okay, maybe I don't. But he makes you happy sometimes."

"Yeah, he does. Sometimes."

*** *** ***

After searching the mansion, Marie was beginning to worry. What if he hadn't come back, if it had been just a dream? What if he had come back, but then turned around and left again? Could she handle that? She'd thought she'd been learning how to get along without him, but now, thinking how she might have had him again but then lost him so quickly, she wasn't sure.

"Hey, Kid."

Marie stopped short and felt her breath still. That was him—his voice. He was back. She forced herself to calm down before she turned around to face him. "Hey, Logan," she said, trying to pass the greeting off as nonchalant.

"Sorry that I woke ya up last night. I didn't realize how late I was gettin' back, and I didn't want to have to wait until this mornin' to let you know I'm here."

Rogue shrugged. "That's all right. It didn't bother me that ya woke me up."

"Still wearin' my tags, I see."

"Yeah. Ya told me to wear 'em, didn't ya?"

Logan was put slightly aback by her aloof attitude. "Told ya to take care of 'em. You don't have to wear 'em if ya don't wanna."

Rogue shrugged again.

"Don't I even get a hug?" Logan asked, her cold greeting unnerving him. Had he missed something since he'd left last?

Marie tentatively approached him and wrapped her arms around him. He pulled her closer, and she melted. "I missed you, Kid," he murmured into her hair.

Marie rested her head on his shoulder. "I missed you, too," she said, her voice almost a sigh.

Logan pulled away. "What have you been up to?'

"Oh, the usual. School mainly. You?"

"The usual. Cage fightin' mainly."

Marie giggled. "You haven't stopped doin' that yet?"

"Nah, it's good money. And it's not like I'm gonna get hurt or anything."

Marie rolled her eyes. "Of course not. Nothin' can touch 'The King of the Cage—The Wolverine.'"

"Watch it, Kid," Logan said, his smile playful.

"Or what?"

"I'll have to punish you."

"I'm scared."

Wolverine growled, then grabbed her and started to tickle her mercilessly. Marie struggled for a few moments, laughing, until she finally shouted. "All right, All right! You win! Cage fightin' is a perfectly respectable profession and you're great at it!"

Logan chuckled and let her go. "Now I wouldn't go as far as to call it 'respectable.'"

"I was only placatin' ya anyway."

"I figured."

Marie smiled at Logan, hoping more than anything that maybe this time he'd be back for good.

*** *** ***

Marie was on her way to the dining hall when Logan stopped her. "Hey, Kid, why don't you skip dinner here and come out with me instead."

Marie stopped and looked at him. "I don't know…I mean, I can't exactly just wander off from…"

"I already cleared it with Chuck."

Marie frowned. "I'm hungry."

"I'll feed you."

Marie sighed. "Let me get my jacket."

"Meet me in the garage in five minutes."

Marie glanced back towards the dining hall one last time before running upstairs.

*** *** ***

Rogue almost ran into Jubilee and Kitty on her way to her room. "Woah, Girl, slow down there!" Jubilee said as Rogue came to a halt. "Where ya goin' in such a hurry?"

"Out."

"Out? Out's that way," Jubilee said, pointing to the direction of the front entrance to the mansion. "Besides, it's dinner time."

"I'm skippin' dinner. I just need to get something from the room."

"What do you mean you're skipping dinner?" Kitty asked. "You're not developing some type of eating disorder are you? Those are practically and epidemic among girls our age, you know."

Rogue snorted. "Me? Eating disorder? Not hardly. I'm going to eat somewhere else."

"Alone?" Jubilee asked skeptically.

"Um, probably not."

"You goin' with Logan?"

"Dammit, Jubes, leave me alone about him, okay!"

Jubilee held her hands up in front of her. "Hey, don't get bitchy on me. I just asked if you're goin' with the guy or not."

"Yeah, I'm goin' with him. Now if you don't mind, I'm in a hurry."

Rogue was just about to run off when Bobby and St. John came down the hall. "Evening, Ladies," Bobby said. He looked over at Jubilee. "And you."

She stuck her tongue out. Bobby laughed and said, "Well, maybe I was wrong. That was quite lady-like of you."

"Go to Hell, Drake."

Bobby shook his head. "No thanks, I'd melt."

Rogue was about to use their banter as cover to sneak past them, when St. John noticed her. "Where are you going, Rogue?" he asked.

"Uh, my room."

"Skipping dinner?"

"She's going out with Wolverine," Jubilee said.

Bobby whipped his head around to look at Rogue. "Is she serious?" he asked.

"Yeah. Got a problem with it?"

"Actually, yes, I do," Bobby said. "The last time he left he left you in tears and then he didn't even bother to write you the whole time he was gone. You were devastated, and now that you've just started getting over it you're gonna let him do it to you all over again."

Rogue planted her fists on her hips. "Logan's my friend. I can go out with him if I want."

"Friend? Yeah, right. You're just dying to give him a chance to get back in your life and break your heart all over again so you can go back to being poor, pitiful, untouchable Rogue."

Rogue's jaw dropped. "How dare you! You're just jealous because I care about Logan more than I ever will about you." She pushed past Kitty and Jubilee and went into her room, slamming the door.

"Real smooth there, Bobby," St. John said once Rogue was gone.

"Yeah, like she needed something to upset her more," Kitty added.

Bobby ran his hand through his hair. "I…I didn't mean it, really. It just came out. Should I go talk to her and try to patch things up?"

Jubilee shook her head. "I wouldn't. She's not going to be in the mood to listen to you right now. I'd give her a little time to cool down."

Bobby looked back at the closed door. "Yeah, you're probably right." He started walking towards the dining hall and the others silently followed.

*** *** ***

Logan was leaning up against Scott's motorcycle, smoking a cigar when Marie got down to the garage.

"You're late."

"Sorry. I got ambushed."

Logan tossed her a helmet. "Get on."

Marie nodded and put on the helmet. She'd never ridden a motorcycle before, but she had enough of Logan's memories that she figured she could even drive the thing if she needed to. "Where we goin'?"

"A place in town."

"Do I get any more of a description than that?"

"Nope."

"You said there's food, right?"

"You really are hungry, ain't ya, Kid?"

"I missed lunch lookin' for you."

Logan looked surprised for a second, but soon fell back into his apathetic stance. "I'll feed ya. Just get on the bike."

Marie climbed on the motorcycle behind Wolverine. "I'm glad you're back, Logan," she said before he started the engine.

"Yeah, Kid, so am I."

*** *** ***

He took her to a bar. It was dark and smoky, but the food was surprisingly good and it reminded her of the first time they'd met. "Can I at least have somethin' else to drink?" Rogue after they'd eaten.

"You're stickin' with water."

Marie sighed. "I want a beer."

"You're too young."

"It's your personality that wants one, Logan."

"Don't pull that on me. You're nineteen. You don't need to be drinkin'."

"I'm not a kid."

"Yes you are."

Marie rested her chin in her hands and sulked. "So why did you bring me here anyway? I could sit around and _not_ drink at the mansion."

Logan frowned. "I wanted to spend a little time with ya. Talk to ya some, see how you've been."

"We could've done that at the mansion, too."

"That place makes me feel trapped, Marie."

"Why?"

"I don't know, just the whole atmosphere. Makes me feel like I'm in a cage."

Marie gave him a wry smile. "And all this time I thought you liked cages."

"Not that kind."

"There are people there that care about you, Logan. People that honestly want you around and who don't like it when you're gone. People who you mean something to. You won't find that in any of those other cages."

Defiance shone in his eyes. "Maybe I don't need that."

Rogue met his gaze. "Maybe you do."

Marie was the first one to break the silence that followed. "If it makes you feel so trapped, Logan, then why do you come back?"

He let the question roll off him. "Make sure you guys don't get to use to not havin' me around. Keep Scooter on his toes some, too."

Marie bristled at his answer, wishing more than anything that he'd said he came back for her. "Gotta make sure you're takin' care of those tags, too," Logan added after a moment. Marie relaxed and smiled at him.

"So why did you go up to Canada this time?" Marie asked.

"Had some stuff I had to do."

"The Professor uncovered more leads?"

"Yeah."

"Any luck."

"Not really."

"Tell me about it?"

Logan took a drink from his beer. "It's nothin' you need to know, Kid."

"But I want to know, Logan," Marie said.

"Well you don't need to!"

His tone was sharper than he meant for it to be, and he could see the tears forming in Marie's eyes. He reached out across the table, but didn't actually touch her. "Look, I'm sorry Marie, I didn't mean for that to sound the way it did."

Marie stood up from the booth. "It doesn't matter!" she yelled. "You don't want to let me know anything about you! You don't even care about me!" 

She ran out of the bar, leaving Logan alone at the booth, stunned.

*** *** ***

Marie was waking outside the bar towards she didn't even know where. All she knew was she wanted away from Logan. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, and the cool night air was chilling them on her face.

"Kid…" Logan's hand clamped down on her shoulder and Marie wrenched herself free.

"I didn't want you to follow me."

"Well I couldn't exactly just let ya come out here by yourself. It's cold and dark and we ain't exactly in the best part of town."

Marie sank down on the curb at the edge of the parking lot and began to sob. Logan sat beside her. "What's wrong, Marie?"

"You don't know?"

"No, I don't."

Marie looked up at him and the sight of her tear-streaked face made him wince. "You don't care about me," she said softly.

"That's what you said back in the bar, but I don't know why you think that," Logan said. "It isn't true."

Marie started crying harder. "You're always leavin' me and when ya do, ya can't even write or call or anythin' to let me know you still exist—that you know _I_ exist. And you don't even come back for me. You come back for your damn dogtags!" To emphasize her point she took them off and threw them on the ground.

Logan stared at the tags, dumbfounded. "Marie…I had no idea. I'm…I'm sorry."

Marie looked up at him. She knew an apology from the Wolverine didn't come easily. He looked into her eyes. They were timid, expecting. He picked up the dogtags and put them back in her hand. "I do care about you," he said. "And I don't just come back for these. I come back for you, too. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Marie. Whenever things seem too dark, like I'm not gonna make it, I think of you, your smile, and I know I'm gonna be all right."

Soft tears fell from her eyes, and Logan wiped them away. "You said you'd protect me, Logan," she said. "How can you protect me when you're always gone?"

Logan wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him. "I'm never gonna stop protectin' you, Marie. Even when I'm gone, I'd always come back if you needed me. But you're safe at Xavier's. There are plenty of people there t'make sure you're safe."

Marie relished the warmth and strength of him so close to her. "But none of them are you, Logan."

Logan kissed the top of her head. "I know, Darlin', but sometimes less than what you want has to be enough."

*** *** ***

To be continued…


	3. (3/9)

Chapter Three

Marie lay on her bed, trying her best to concentrate so she could study for the final exam in calculus she had coming up. Jubilee came bursting into the room, holding five large shopping bags in one hand and dragging Kitty behind her with the other. "Rogue! Emergency! Kit's finally got a date with Peter! Ya gotta help me dress her!"

"It's really not that big of a deal…" Kitty protested. "I mean we're only going to the movies, and it's not like what I'm wearing is going to make that much of a difference…"

"Ah! No wonder you're single!" Jubilee exclaimed. "The clothes make _all_ the difference!"

"I'm sure anything I pick from what we bought together today will be fine…" Kitty said.

"Of course anything will be 'fine!' You need more than simply 'fine.' You need _perfect_."

Rogue closed her calculus book with a sigh. "Be quick about it, y'all. I have finals the day after tomorrow, and there's no way I'm even gonna pull a 'D' on my calc exam unless I do some serious studying."

"This won't take long. Kitty, show Rogue all the outfits."

Kitty sighed. "But Jubilee…"

"I don't want to hear any whining! Only _I_ get to whine in this room! Now start trying on clothes!"

Rogue flopped back on her bed and waited for Kitty to change, knowing it would be a while before she got a chance to study more.

*** *** ***

Two hours and countless outfits later, Jubilee decided that Kitty should definitely wear the first one she'd tried on. "Are y'all done now?" Rogue asked once the dress had been decided upon.

"Sure! I just have to get her all ready now," Jubilee said. "Don't mind us…just go back to your studying."

"I was planning on it."

"Good. Now come on Kitty. Time to find you a pair of shoes."

"You didn't buy her shoes, too?" Rogue asked, half-sarcastically.

"Nah, I have plenty of shoes to go around."

"You have plenty of dresses to go around, too."

Jubilee looked at Rogue as if she'd just swallowed a bug. "You can't wear a borrowed dress on your first date with the man of your dreams. It's bad luck!"

"Oh please. You made that up."

"I did not! Jeez, didn't they teach you _anything_ in Mississippi?"

"Obviously they didn't teach me calculus," Rogue grumbled.

"Well, the dress thing is more important to remember than calculus," Jubilee said.

"Somehow I doubt it'll help me graduate from college."

"Well it should. Come on, Kit. Time to dress your feet."

Rogue turned her concentration back on her studying. About five minutes later, she heard Jubilee ask, "Hey Rogue, what about these?"

Rogue looked up and saw Jubilee's hand sticking out from the closet, dangling a pair of shoes. "They look fine to me," Rogue said.

"I don't like open-toed shoes," Kitty said.

"Why not?" Jubilee asked.

"I have ugly toes."

"Please, you do not."

"Do, too. I'm not wearing them."

Jubilee gave an exaggerated sigh. "Fine. Nothing open-toed." She resumed her digging. "How about these?"

"They could work," Kitty said.

"Rogue? What do you think?" Jubilee asked.

"They're fine," Rogue said without looking up.

"So you don't think the red will clash with the blue?" Jubilee said.

"Uh-uh."

"Rogue, the shoes are white."

Rogue groaned. "Any shoes you pick will be fine, Jubilee. You are the mansion's resident fashion expert after all."

"But I need a second opinion!"

"And I need to pass calculus!"

"Fine. But if Kitty's date is a bomb, it's your fault!"

"Huh? My date's gonna be a bomb?"

"Of course not, Hun. Just trying to put Rogue on a guilt trip."

Rogue shut her book and started shoving her stuff into a bookbag. "Well, it isn't working. As a matter of fact, I'm going downstairs so you guys can figure this out without driving me insane. Good luck tonight, Kit. Be sure to tell me all the juicy details." She grabbed the bookbag and left the room.

Jubilee put her hands on her hips. "Well aren't some people just no fun."

*** *** ***

Rogue went down to the library, figuring that might be at least one place where no one would bother her. Twenty minutes later, she found out she was wrong.

"Hey, Rogue," Bobby Drake said as he walked in and sat down across from her at the table. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Tryin' to up my chances of passing my calculus finals from 'none whatsoever' to 'slight,'" Rogue said without looking up.

"I'm majoring in accounting," Bobby said. "Maybe I could help you."

"Alright, what's the answer to this question?" Rogue asked, pointing to one of the problems in her textbook.

Bobby grimaced. "Okay, they don't teach you stuff quite like that in accounting. Why in the world are you taking this class anyway? I thought you were going for a degree in education, not engineering."

"I am. But my adviser is evil and told me this would be a good class to have under my belt."

"Do you need it to graduate?"

"No, but I'd like to stay on the Dean's List if I could, and the only way that's gonna happen is if I ace this exam."

"All right. I won't bother you then," Bobby said, tapping his fingers on the table.

Rogue tried to ignore him, but it became increasingly more difficult. "Bobby, could you maybe…" she started.

"Sure, no problem," Bobby said, getting up and moving to the other side of the room. He absentmindedly took a book off the shelf and pretended to be reading it, but Rogue could tell he was paying a lot more attention to her than to Jane Austen's _Sense and Sensibility_.

With Bobby watching her, and it made it next to impossible for Rogue to concentrate. Finally, she got up and left, mumbling some excuse about leaving something important in her room.

*** *** ***

Once out in the hallway, Marie ran into Logan. "Hey, Kid where you headed?" Logan asked.

"Some place where I can get some friggin' peace and quiet," Marie said.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, I just have to study for my calculus final—which is the day after tomorrow—and Jubilee's in our room playing fashion consultant for Kitty, and Bobby's in the library checking me out," Marie explained.

"Do you want me to take ya somewhere where you can be away from all of them?"

"Promise you won't start annoying me, too?"

"I can't promise it," Logan said. "But I'll do my best."

"That'll have to do," Marie replied.

Logan smiled. "Then let's go."

*** *** ***

"Thanks for getting me out of there, Logan," Marie said, once they were in a car and on the highway.

"No problem, Kid. You looked like ya needed it."

"I did. This exam has me at the end of my rope."

"I'm sure you'll do fine," Logan said. "You're smart, Marie."

"Thanks, Logan." 

Marie suddenly reached down and grabbed the volume knob on the radio, turning up so it was blaring even with the windows rolled down. Logan grinned at the delighted look on her face. "This is my favorite song!" she exclaimed. "They hardly ever play it."

_There's a soft rain tappin' on your window  
There's a cool breeze blowin' off the bay  
And a warm flame dancin' with our shadows  
To music playin' far away  
I never meant to stay an hour  
I thought that I was passing through  
Another town along the highway  
I never meant to fall for you But I can't speak for you Maria  
I only know the way I feel  
When I sleep with you, Maria  
There's nothing left for dreams to steal  
On a Bible by the mirror  
The only treasures that we hold  
The only secrets that we're keepin'  
A watch, a chain, a cross of gold _

Marie sang along with the radio. Logan chuckled in amusement at the way she managed to be slightly off key and still sing well. 

"You do realize your name is Marie and not Maria, don't ya," Logan teased.

"Close enough," Marie said before resuming her singing.

_When the sunlight brings the mornin'  
I can't tell you what I'll do  
But I've a mind to take you with me  
And I've got a heart to stay with you ****_

When I sleep with you, Maria  
There's nothing left for dreams to steal  
On a Bible by the mirror  
The only treasures that we hold  
The only secrets that we're keepin'  
A watch, a chain, a cross of gold  
When I sleep with you, Maria  
There's nothin' left for dreams to steal

The song ended and Marie pouted a little. Logan had to admit, she was cute. And with the windows rolled down and the wind blowing her hair around her face she looked, well, beautiful. _"She's gonna make some man very lucky someday_," Logan thought.

Then another thought hit Logan_. What if he was that man?_ He shook it away as quickly as it came. Marie was too young, too innocent, for someone like him. Still, part of him wanted that, a woman as unlike him as Marie was. But he knew he couldn't. It wouldn't be fair to her. In the end, he'd only hurt her.

Logan focused forward and continued to drive.

*** *** ***

Logan brought Marie to a secluded spot by a lake. "It's quiet here," he told her. "No one ever comes around. I go here to think sometimes."

Marie smiled, taking in the beautiful scenery. "Thank you, Logan. I think I'll be able to concentrate here."

"Do you want me to leave you alone for awhile?"

"No, that's okay. I don't mind having you around."

Logan smiled. "All right. I'll try not to bother ya then."

Marie sat down with her books by a tree and Logan sat a little ways down from her. He watched Marie as she leaned over her work, her hair falling forward, the sun hitting the white and making it shimmer. She brushed her hair behind her ear, and Logan could see her face, perfect like that of a porcelain doll. Her lips were parted slightly and her features were set in determination. Her beauty made Logan's breath catch.

Logan wanted his thoughts to move away from the disturbing turn they had taken, but there was nothing he could do to stop them. Marie was breathtaking. She frowned and erased a problem. She started scribbling vigorously, stared at her work, then frowned and erased again.

"Havin' problems, Darlin'?"

Marie looked up and her big, brown eyes pierced right through him. "I can't figure out how to do this," she said.

"Let me take a look at it."

Marie laughed. "I don't know how much help you'd be, Logan."

Wolverine looked at her with mock offense. "Hey, I might just be smarter than I look."

"All right, Big Guy, come take a look at this."

Logan walked over and sat down next to Marie. He took the book from her and asked, "Which one?"

"Number eighteen in the review section."

He read over the problem for a few seconds, then took the paper and pencil from beside Marie. He brushed against her as he leaned over and she gave a small gasp at his close proximity. Logan tried not to concentrate on how warm and soft she felt.

He worked the problem out, then showed Marie the answer he'd got. "This right, Kid?"

She looked at his results, then flipped to the back of the book to double-check. "Yeah, it is. How…how did you know that?"

Logan shrugged. "Don't know. That happens sometimes. I do things that I don't remember learnin' how to do."

"Maybe you were a calculus professor once," Marie said with a giggle.

"Somehow I doubt that."

"No, really, I could totally see that," Marie said, laughing harder.

"Hey, I figure out the problem for ya and all you can do is laugh at me? Do you want me to show you how I did it or not?"

Marie composed herself. "Sure, Logan. Thanks."

Logan gave her a nod and started his explanation.

*** *** ***

Logan opened his bedroom door to an ecstatic Marie. "Guess what?" she asked with a huge grin.

"You just won the Stanley Cup Finals?"

She hit him on the shoulder. "No! I passed my calculus exam." She held up a piece of paper. "See—I got an 'A'!"

Logan pulled her into a hug. "I'm proud of ya, Kid."

"I couldn't have done it without you, Logan."

"Sure you could have."

"Nope. You saved me this time."

"Isn't that my job?"

Marie giggled. "Yup."

"So what do you say we go somewhere and celebrate?" 

"Will you buy me a beer?" Marie asked.

"What is it with you and tryin' to talk me into gettin' ya drunk?"

"Like I said before, it's _your_ personality."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Logan…"

"Do you want to go out at all?"

Marie pouted. "Fine, but when I _finally_ turn twenty-one, you're taking me drinking with you."

Logan smiled. "If you really think you can keep up with me, it's a deal. Now how about we just go get a pizza or something?"

"Sounds good to me," Marie replied. "Let's go."

Logan wrapped his arm around her waist and they walked out together.

*** *** ***

Marie stared down at her plate. "You know what goes well with pizza…"

"Marie, no."

"Why not?"

"You ain't legal."

"I am in some countries."

"Not in the States."

"When did you care about legality anyway?"

"Eat your pizza."

"Logan…"

"Look, Marie, I've already corrupted you enough with all my memories in your head. I'm not gonna take away anymore of your innocence than I have to."

"Logan, it wouldn't exactly be my first beer. Besides, you already said you'd take me drinking when I turn twenty-one."

Logan ran his hand through his already-ruffled hair. The thoughts he'd had about her the day he'd took her out to study came back to him again and he had a sudden fear that he would do something to take away the naiveté he so admired in her. "Look, Marie, what you do when you're not around me is one thing, but I'm not going to encourage you to do things you shouldn't when I _am_ around."

Marie gave him a confused look. "Since when?"

"Look, Kid some things just ain't right, okay?" Logan yelled.

"Are we still talking about beer? Because I'm twenty now, and I don't see how one drink now as opposed to next year is really all that big of a deal. Besides, you look a little flushed."

"Can we talk about something else?"

"Logan, what's wrong with you? You're actin' really strangely…Even for you."

"I just…I just want to talk about something else."

Marie considered pushing the issue, trying to figure out what really had Logan so worked up, but decided against it. "Fine, Logan. So how was your day?"

*** *** ***

Marie still expected Logan to leave this time. She braced herself for it, spending time with him when she could, but not letting him get too close. She wouldn't let him catch her off guard this time.

Time went by, first weeks, then months, and Logan didn't leave.

So Marie let her guard down. She let herself be comfortable around him. He still didn't leave.

She spent her twenty-first birthday with him. With her finally legal, he gave into her constant pleas to let her drink.

It didn't take long for Logan to have a very drunk Marie on his hands.

She giggled as Logan carried her up to her room. "You know I can walk," Marie told him as they entered the mansion.

"All right, Darlin', whatever you say," Logan said as he put her down on the ground.

Marie immediately fell to the ground. She looked up at him. "Okay, maybe not."

"I didn't think you could," Logan said as he picked her back up. 

Marie nuzzled up against him as he carried her up towards her room. "Why don't you ever tell me what you've found in Canada?" she asked as they started up the stairs.

"I haven't found much."

"I know, but you've found _something_. Why don't you ever tell me?"

Logan sighed. "Ya don't need t'know."

"That's what you always say. What do you mean by that?"

Logan pushed one of the white streaks in her hair out of her eyes. "I've already saddled you with enough of my burden, Marie, what my memories and nightmares. I don't need to give you any more."

"You're always sayin' stuff like that. Why do you worry so much that you're gonna corrupt me?"

Logan grimaced, trying to ignore the fact that Marie had as of late been the star of more than one of his fantasies—a fact that disturbed him as much as it intrigued him. "Somethin' else you don't need to know, Marie."

Before Marie could say anything else, they were at her door. He opened it and carried her in, lying her down on her bed. He took off her jacket and boots and covered her with a blanket. "Sleep tight, Kid, 'cause you're gonna have one hell of a hangover in the mornin'."

Marie smiled as her eyes closed. "That's all right. It was worth it to get to spend time with you like this."

"I'll remind you of that in the mornin'. Night, Marie."

"Night Logan." She rolled over on her side. "I love you."

Logan stared down at her, his eyes wide open. "What?"

"I love you. And I mean it, too. Not just the alcohol talkin'."

Logan tried to think of something to say but soon realized he didn't have to. Her breathing told him she was already asleep.

By the time the sun came up the next morning, Logan had run again.

*** *** ***

Late the following afternoon, Rogue went to Logan's room. The door was unlocked and she was surprised to find he wasn't there. She looked towards his closet and found that some of his clothes and duffel bag were gone, too. With a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, Marie ran from the room and down to the garage. Logan's motorcycle—the one he'd bought when Scott had said if he took his one more time he'd find a way to kill him—was gone. Marie sank to her knees and sobbed. He'd left and he hadn't even told her good-bye.

She clung to the dogtags she wore around her neck and wished it would all go away, that she would wake up back in her bed in Mississippi to find that everything—that Logan—was just a dream. She wanted the pain she was feeling to somehow cease to be real.

"Rogue?"

Marie didn't look up when she heard her name called. She knew that voice, and she didn't want to talk.

"Rogue, why are you on the floor of the garage?"

"You're the telepath, you tell me," Rogue said, trying to hide the pain in her voice with sarcasm.

Jean knelt down in front of her. "I know you're hurting right now, Rogue, but he'll come back. He always does."

"That doesn't matter anymore," Rogue said. "I don't care if he comes back. I don't even want him to come back. I never wanted him to leave!"

Jean looked at Rogue the way an adult would a child who lost a beloved toy. "You're just upset now. You'll be so busy with your life soon enough, and you'll barely even notice the time go by before Logan's back again."

Rogue looked into Jean's eyes, her expression almost pleading. "Don't you understand? I _lose_ whatever life I've built every time Logan leaves! He comes back, makes me whole, and then he breaks me again so I'm left alone to pick up the pieces! God, Jean, why?!" Rogue began to sob again.

Jean could feel the pain and betrayal radiating off Rogue. She'd always known that Rogue felt something other than friendship for Logan, but it wasn't until that moment that she realized just how deep those feelings ran. "I'm sorry, Rogue. I'm sorry for how much this hurts you."

"Why?" Rogue asked again. "Why does he do this to me?"

"I don't know. I guess it's just his way."

"He wouldn't do this if you were the one who loved him! He'd never leave you!"

"I don't think Logan would be able to commit to me anymore than he would to anyone else."

"How do you know? I've seen the way he looks at you."

"I know because I've see the way he looks at me, too," Jean said. "And that isn't commitment in his eyes."

"Why do you say that?" Rogue asked.

"Because it isn't the way Scott looks at me."

"How do you know how Scott looks at you when he's wearin' those glasses all the time?"

Jean laughed a little. "Believe me, Rogue, I know."

Rogue tried to suppress her tears, but instead they came out as a whimper. "I want him to love me, Jean. I want him to love me the way Scott loves you!"

"I know, Sweetie, but sometimes things in life don't work out the way we want them to." Jean pulled Rogue over to her and hugged the younger girl.

"I can't believe he just left! He didn't even tell me good-bye."

Jean frowned. "Now that isn't like him. Are you sure he didn't at least leave you a note or anything?"

Rogue shook her head. "He didn't. I just found out he's gone. I went to his room and I came down here and…" She pulled away from Jean, pointed to the empty place where Logan's motorcycle should've been, and began her weeping again.

"I'm so sorry, Rogue. I don't know what would make Logan do that. I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it. You know how he is."

"I don't know why he would either, I…" Rogue stopped short as the hazy memories of the night before became clearer. She turned ashen as she remembered telling Logan she loved him. She stood up, her movements stiff, almost mechanical. "I have to go," she told Jean.

"What is it?" Jean asked as she got up.

"I just have to go," Rogue said, too embarrassed of the drunken admission she'd made to Wolverine to tell anyone what she'd said. "Thanks for talkin' to me, Jean."

Puzzled, Jean watched Rogue as the girl walked out of the garage.

*** *** ***

Rogue wandered through the mansion and up to her room, barely noticing the people and things she almost bumped into. Logan had run again, and this time, she knew why. She'd told him the truth and he hadn't wanted to hear it. She couldn't shake the feeling that he wasn't ever coming back.

It hurt almost as much as the knowledge that Logan really didn't love her.

She went into her room and curled up on her bed. She didn't even notice Kitty sitting at the computer. 

"Rogue? Are you okay? You look a little pale," Kitty said.

Rogue didn't respond. "Rogue? You in there? Say something, you're making me nervous." 

Silence. Kitty walked over to the bed. "Rogue? Are you okay? Please, answer me."

Rogue looked up and noticed Kitty for the first time. "Oh, hi Kitty. I thought you were meeting Peter for dinner."

Kitty frowned. "That isn't for another couple of hours. Rogue, what's wrong with you?"

"Where are y'all going?"

"Huh? Who? Going where?"

"You and Peter?"

"A restaurant downtown. Really, Rogue, you don't look so good. And you're acting, well, strange."

"That's nice. I'm gonna take a nap, all right?"

"Rogue? Talk to me! What's wrong?" 

"Nothing's wrong with me. I don't want to talk." Rogue rolled over and closed her eyes.

Kitty went downstairs and found Scott and Jean talking. "Um, I hate to bother you guys, but I'm worried about Rogue."

Jean frowned, thinking back on the conversation she'd had with Rogue in the garage and the strange way Rogue had walked away. "Why?"

"She just came upstairs, and I can tell something's wrong with her, but she keep insisting she's fine and asking me about my date with Peter instead. I don't know, she seems a little dazed to me."

"Dammit," Scott muttered. "Why does he do this? Does he even stop to think about the effect his actions have on others? And he calls _me_ a dick…"

"Would someone please tell me what's going on?" Kitty asked.

"Logan's gone again," Jean explained. "Apparently Rogue's taking it even harder than she has in the past."

"She really didn't think that he was going to leave this time," Kitty said.

"You know, if I ever get my hands on him…" Scott began.

"Really, Honey, killing Logan isn't going to do any good for anyone," Jean said.

"Sure would make me feel better," Scott replied.

"Where is Rogue now?" Jean asked.

"When I left her she was taking a nap," Kitty said.

Jean nodded. "That's probably what's best for her now. I'll talk to her when she wakes up."

"Do you think she'll be all right?" Kitty asked. 

Jean put a reassuring hand on Kitty's shoulder. "Don't worry. I'm sure everything will turn out just fine."

*** *** ***

Rogue woke up a few hours later. She paused as she looked up and saw Jean Grey sitting beside her bed. "Jean, what are you doing in here?"

"Kitty said you seemed really upset and I came in to check on you."

"Oh."

"How are you feeling now?"

"Terrible."

"Rogue, when you left the garage earlier, you looked like you had suddenly remembered something you didn't want to know. What's wrong."

Rogue sighed, figuring she might as well get it out. "I know why Logan left."

"Why?"

Rogue started to cry a little. "I told him I loved him and I guess he doesn't want to be around me anymore."

Jean wanted to hunt Logan down and slap him upside the head for being an idiot and making Rogue feel as awful as she did. She brushed a few stray pieces of white hair away from Rogue's eyes. "I'm sure he still wants to be around you. He probably just needed some time to himself to think about how you voicing your feelings changed things between the two of you. He'll be back."

Rogue cried harder. "Why does he have this effect on me?" she asked. "Why, Jean?! I don't even want to care! It hurts so much, but I can't stop!"

"You're in love. Being in love isn't always easy."

"How do you know? You have Scott. He's like, perfect."

"Trust me, Scott is _not_ perfect," Jean said with a wry grin. "And we didn't exactly just fall into a happy little fairy-tale romance the moment we met, either. It took a long time for Scott and I to realize just what we have together."

"What do you mean?" Rogue asked. "I always figured for you two it was love at first sight."

Jean chuckled. "Oh it was. It was just also uncertainty at first sight, too. Scott didn't think I could ever feel for him what he felt for me and vice-versa. We spent the longest time skating around the issue of a relationship."

"But why? It's so obvious you two are meant to be."

"Yeah, well, that wasn't so clear to us back then. But everything turned out okay in the end, and I'm sure it will with you, too."

"Not with Logan it won't."

"Rogue, I know you don't want to hear this, but there are other men out there besides Logan."

"I know…but Logan's…special."

"That's a nice way putting it." 

Rogue giggled, then frowned again. "There might be other guys out there, but who's out there for me? Bobby?"

"You could always give it a shot."

"I don't know, Jean. I like Bobby, but I'm just not sure how much. Maybe if I'd never met Logan…"

"You don't have to meet the man of your dreams anytime soon, Rogue. You're only twenty-one—you have plenty of time for that."

"But you knew Scott by the time you were twenty-one." Rogue pointed out.

"That's true," Jean said, "But most people don't meet the person they'll spend the rest of their life with this young. Look at the Professor. God only knows how old he is, and he's still single."

Rogue giggled again. "Thanks Jean."

"For what?"

"For talking to me. For making me feel better. I think you've made the pain of losing Logan—again—a little more bearable."

"Glad I could help."

"Are you going to come downstairs or are you going to rest a while longer?" Jean asked.

"I think I'm just going to stay up here. I have a lot in my head I need to sort out."

"I understand. If you need me, don't hesitate to call me," Jean said, tapping her temple with her finger.

Rogue smiled as she got the message. "Sure thing, Doctor. As long as you don't mind me poking around up there."

"Of course not." She leaned down and gave Rogue a hug. "It'll be okay, I promise."

"I know," Rogue replied. "If there's one thing I've learned about life all ready it's it always hurts—but it always gets better."

*** *** ***

Rogue stayed in bed for a long time that evening, staring up at the ceiling and thinking. For the first couple hours she just sobbed, clutching Logan's dogtags and cried out all the pain he'd put inside her. She yearned for him and wished with all her heart that he would love her the way she loved him. The thought that the knowledge of her love for him pushed him away made her sick, and the fact that this time she was what drove Logan away made her feel like she couldn't hold on anymore.

As the evening drew on, Rogue stopped crying and she started to feel some of her strength returning. Maybe Jean was right. Maybe she didn't need Logan. She was young and there were plenty of people out there she could fall in love with that wouldn't treat her the way Logan did. Somewhere, she knew there was a man who would love her, who would be with her and stand beside her no matter what.

But then again, why give up before you'd even given it a real chance.

Rogue sat up in her bed feeling more refreshed and alive that she had in a long time. With a renewed sense of purpose, she sat up and tore Logan's dogtags from her neck. She threw them on her bed then went to her closet where she snatched up a bag and started packing. She took an inventory of her clothes and decided it wasn't what she needed. She grabbed a few outfits from Jubilee's closet, knowing her friend wouldn't mind.

She strode out of her room with a goal in mind.

*** *** ***

To be continued…


	4. (4/9)

Chapter Four

Jean saw Rogue come downstairs with a bag slung over her shoulder. "Where are you going?" Jean asked.

"I need to do something," Rogue replied.

"Rogue, are you sure about that?"

"It's okay, Jean. I already talked to the Professor. He knows where I'm goin'."

Jean frowned, obviously unsure. "Where are you going?"

"That's personal."

"Be careful."

"I will be."

Rogue gave the older woman a hug. "I'll be back soon, Jean."

"I know. And don't be too hard on Logan, okay?"

Rogue chuckled. "Telepaths…"

Jean laughed back. "Hey, it doesn't take a telepath to figure out where you're headed."

*** *** ***

**__**

Well I play an old guitar from nine 'till half past one   
I'm just tryin' to make a livin' watching everybody else havin' fun   
Well I don't miss much if it happens on a dancehall floor   
Mercy look what just walked through that door   
  
Well hello T-R-O-U-B-L-E   
Tell me what in the world   
You doin' A-L-O-N-E   
Yeah say hey good L double O-K-I-N-G   
Well I smell T-R-O-U-B-L-E 

Almost ever chin in the bar hit the floor when a young woman, scantily clad enough to make Lady Godiva blush, walked in. Her long brown hair tumbled around her shoulders with ivory streaks falling in front of her face. Her big brown eyes were dark and made it clear that she was there for more than a drink and idle conversation.

**__**

I was a little bitty baby when my papa hit the skids   
Mama had a time tryin' to raise nine kids   
She told me not to stare cause it was impolite   
She did the best she could to try to raise me right   
  
Cause mama never told me 'bout nothin' like Y-O-U   
Bet your mama musta been another good lookin' honey too   
Hey good L double O-K-I-N-G   
Well I smell T-R-O-U-B-L-E 

From across the bar, Wolverine's nose wrinkled as he took in a familiar scent. He looked up and did a double take as he recognized the woman who had just walked in. "Marie?!" he exclaimed in surprise as he stood up, causing the woman who was sitting in his lap to fall to the ground. She got up and dusted herself off with a "humph!" going off to find someone else to flirt with.

Logan made a beeline to Rogue, pushing anybody who stood in front of him out of his way. He grabbed Rogue by the arm. "What the hell are ya doin' here, Marie?" he growled.

Rogue met his eye defiantly. "What does it matter to you?" She narrowed her gaze. "And the name's Rogue."

"Fine. What the hell are ya doin' here, _Rogue_."

"I came to see you, Logan," she purred.

Wolverine frowned. "Why?"

"So I can give you a message. Don't even bother coming back to the mansion. Just stay up here with your seedy bars and skanky bar hoes." She gestured to the woman who had fallen off Logan's lap. "If you act like a chickenshit and run off just 'cause somethin' gets you spooked a little then you don't need to be there in the first place. And you definitely don't need to be around me."

"Marie…Rogue…I didn't leave 'cause I couldn't handle what you said the other night. I just needed to clear my head."

"Don't give me that, Logan. All you've been doin' since the moment we met is runnin', and here you are, runnin' again."

"I've never run from anything in my life, Kid."

"You run from everything, Wolverine. Or at least everything that matters."

Logan looked down. "Where are my dogtags?"

Rogue glared at him. "You told me to take care of them. You never said I had to wear them."

Logan glared back. "Get outta here, Marie. This ain't no place for someone like you."

Marie gave him a devilish smile. "I don't know, Logan, I think this place suits me just fine. Reminds me of where we first met. It's even got a cage."

"That's why I'm here, Kid. T'fight. Action starts in fifteen minutes and I want you outta here."

Marie crossed her arms. "I don't think so. I'll think I'll stay right here."

"Look, I don't know what kinda game you're tryin' to play, but it ain't cute. You said you had somethin' to say to me and you said it. Now get out."

"Funny, I don't remember you havin' the authority to tell me where I can and can't go."

"I promised I'd protect you."

"I don't need you're fucking protection anymore, Wolverine."

Rogue sauntered over to the bar and ordered a beer, making sure to hang over the edge enough to give the bartender a good view of her cleavage. Wolverine stood behind her and watched, a low growl rumbling deep in his chest. Rogue sat down on a barstool, spun around to face Logan, took a swig of her beer, then winked.

Wolverine narrowed his eyes in response then stalked over towards the cage. He could tell it was going to be a long night…
**__**

Well a sweet talkin', sexy walkin', honky tonkin' baby   
The men are gonna love ya and the woman gonna hate ya   
Remindin' them of everything they're never gonna be   
May be the beginning of a world war three   
  
Cause the world ain't ready for nothing like Y-O-U   
I bet your mama musta been another good lookin' mama too   
Hey say hey good L double O-K-I-N-G   
Well I smell T-R-O-U-B-L-E   
  
I said hey   
I smell T-R-O-U-B-L-E 

*** *** ***

Wolverine delivered a punch and his opponent staggered backwards. He paced around the cage some, all the while watching Rogue from the corner of his eye. She was flirting with some guy Logan knew he could tear apart without even blinking. The guy put his hand on Rogue's leg, and she moved in closer, lowering her eyelashes seductively. Wolverine was contemplating just how many ways he could disembowel Rogue's new little "friend," when a sharp punch to the jaw brought him back to reality.

Wolverine whipped around, snarling, as the other man went down, clutching his now broken hand. Wolverine kicked his opponent as he went down, and the man fell to the floor, coughing up a little blood. Wolverine growled as he cracked his neck, knowing that fight was over.

He looked back to see that Rogue was now in that guy's lap. Wolverine grinned ferally. He still wasn't sure what game she was playing, but he decided he was willing to be one of the players…

*** *** ***

"Dance with me, Darlin'," Logan demanded as he walked up to Rogue.

Rogue smiled. "I'd rather dance with Fred here."

"Uh, it's Frank…" the guy said timidly.

Rogue rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

"I'm sure Fred wouldn't mind."

"It's…it's Frank."

Wolverine snarled and Frank cowered in fear. "Never mind..." Frank said in a meek voice.

"You're dancin' with me." Wolverine said.

Rogue stood up. "Fine. But I'm pickin' the song."

"You got it."

Rogue sauntered over to the jukebox and looked over the selections. She reached into Logan's pocket and got out a coin, responding to Logan's gasp with a wink. She put the coin into the jukebox, pushed a couple of buttons, and the song began.

**__**

Well you're the real tough cookie with the long history  
Of breaking little hearts, like the one in me  
That's okay, let's see how you do it  
Put up your dukes, let's get down to it!

Hit me with your best shot!  
Why don't you hit me with your best shot!  
Hit me with your best shot!  
Fire away!

Wolverine pulled Rogue against him as they moved on to the dance floor. "Did ya really come here just to tell me to get out of your life?" Logan asked.

Rogue did her best to look innocent. "Of course. Why wouldn't I have?"

"In _that_ dress? All I could think when I looked up and saw ya in that thing was 'oh hell.'"

"What makes you think I wore it for you, Sugah?"

"Who else would you have worn it for? Fred?"

"I think his name was Frank."

**__**

You come on with a "come on," you don't fight fair  
But that's okay, see if I care!  
Knock me down, it's all in vain  
I'll get right back on my feet again!

Hit me with your best shot!  
Why don't you hit me with your best shot!  
Hit me with your best shot!  
Fire away!

"Well, whoever you wore it for, it looks damn good on ya, Darlin'." Logan moved closer and whispered in her ear. "Bet it would look even better off ya."

Rogue's heart leapt into her throat. "What…what did you say."

"You heard me, Darlin'. C'mon. Leave with me tonight. I want you, Marie."

Marie started to wonder if maybe she'd gotten in over her head. She'd wanted Logan to notice, to realize what he'd turned away, but this…She hadn't expected this. "Logan, I don't know, I mean…" she started, her voice faltering.

Logan grabbed her arms and pulled her to his lips, kissing her with enough passion to make Marie go limp. "C'mon, Darlin'. You know you want to. It'll be all right."

Marie simply nodded yes.

**__**

Well you're the real tough cookie with the long history  
Of breaking little hearts, like the one in me  
Before I put another notch in my lipstick case  
You better make sure you put me in my place

Hit me with your best shot!  
Come on, hit me with your best shot!  
Hit me with your best shot!  
Fire away!

Hit me with your best shot!  
Why don't you hit me with your best shot!  
Hit me with your best shot!  
Fire away!

*** *** ***

Rogue woke in a panic the next morning, unsure of where she was. She tried to sit up, but found that something heavy was holding her to the bed. She realized that is was an arm draped around her waist and then it became clear as to where she was—with Logan! Marie smiled in delight as she moved closer to him. Finally, she had the man of her dreams!

She felt Logan stirring behind her. He kissed her hair. "Mornin' Marie," he said, the sleepy-husky sound of his voice making Marie shiver.

"Mornin' Logan. Sleep okay?" she asked, realizing that she didn't quite know what she was supposed to say in her current situation.

Logan's kisses trailed from her hair, down the side of her face, and across her shoulder. "Slept great, Darlin'. Didn't even have any nightmares. For the little time we were sleepin' that is."

Marie blushed as she thought over the previous night. Never in her wildest dreams had she ever thought anything like that could ever happen between her and Logan. But it had, and here she was, wrapped up in his arms. She wanted to tell him she loved him—sober this time—but she was too afraid of scaring him off again.

Logan stopped for a moment, then rolled Marie over so she was facing him. He looked into her eyes and frowned. "You okay, Marie?"

"Of course, Logan! Why wouldn't I be?"

Logan stroked her cheek with his thumb. "Last night. You're okay with what happened with us?"

"What happened last night that I might not be okay with."

"We had sex, Marie."

Marie laughed. "I sorta noticed that, Logan. I just don't see why I'd have a problem with it." She frowned. "Unless you have a problem with it."

Logan pulled her to him so her head was resting on her chest. "Last night was great, Darlin'. Meant a lot to me."

Marie smiled at him and suddenly the words just tumbled out before she could stop them. "I love you, Logan."

He blinked back, looking surprised, but then leaned down and kissed her forehead when he noticed her wince. "I know, Marie. And it's all right—really."

It wasn't quite the answer Rogue had wanted, but she figured it was better than, "Uh…that's nice…look at the time," or something similar.

She decided to change the subject. "You don't have anything to eat, do you?"

Logan grinned, remembering back to when he'd first met her. "Well, about all they have at this place is stale doughnuts and weak coffee. But there's a little place down the road that makes breakfast all right. No beef jerky though, I'm sorry…"

Rogue giggled. "That'll do. I'm not quite hungry enough this time to actually eat beef jerky."

"Now there's absolutely nothing wrong with beef jerky."

"Sure, when you've got teeth as sharp as yours!"

"I didn't see you havin' any problems with it."

"You'd be amazed what you can pull off when you're starving."

"So are you starvin' now—or could you wait a little while?"

"Depends. What you have in mind to distract me from my hunger."

Logan grinned and moved over her, and Rogue knew her stomach wouldn't distract her again for quite some time.

*** *** ***

Neither Logan nor Marie said anything for a long time as they sat together at breakfast. Marie picked at her eggs, suddenly too nervous to eat. She looked over at Logan and noticed he seemed distracted, too. What if now, in the light of day and out in the real world, he was seeing things differently. What if he thought the night before was a mistake?

"Ain'tcha gonna eat, Darlin'?" Logan asked.

Marie looked up at the sound of his voice. "Yeah." She took a bite of toast, but didn't attempt to eat anything else.

Logan frowned. "What's wrong?"

Marie forced herself to look into his eyes. "Are you going to send me back home now?"

Logan's brow furrowed. "What makes you say that?"

Marie looked back down and shrugged. "Well, you left after I told you I lo…after I said that stuff when I was drunk, and I just thought maybe you'd want me gone now that we've…"

The feel of Logan taking her hand made Marie stopped short. "Marie…Darlin'…don't think what happened between us was just a one night stand. I know I panicked and left before when ya said you loved me, but that doesn't mean I don't care about ya. When you said that, it just took me by surprise and made me have to sort out a few things, that's all. But last night meant something to me. Don't think it didn't. I couldn't stand to think I'd hurt you like that."

Hope gleamed in Marie's eyes. "Does that mean I can stay here with you for a little while, Logan?"

"Yeah, Darlin', it does."

"Logan, I…"

"Eat your eggs, Marie."

Marie just smiled and finished her breakfast.

*** *** ***

Logan watched as Marie sat on his bed, painting her toes some girlie shade of pink. "Don't spill that Pepto-Bismol lookin' stuff on my sheets…"

Marie rolled her eyes. "The color's called _cupcake_, Logan."

Logan grinned. "Sorry. I should've known that."

"Has anyone ever told you how annoying you are?"

"Sure, you do every day. But then again, you're still sleepin' in my bed, so you must just be makin' it up."

"No, you're just sexy and damn good in bed, so I figure that outweighs all your annoying qualities."

"Well, I'm glad I can be forgiven."

Marie giggled.

Logan smiled at her. "You're cute."

"Thanks."

"Really. Sitting there, painting your toes like that…you're adorable."

"Then why were you picking on me about it?" Marie asked, paying more attention to her feet than to Wolverine.

"Because it's fun."

"Gee, thanks. I'm glad to know that tormenting me amuses you."

"Doing other things to you amuses me, too," Logan said, wagging his eyebrows up and down.

Marie sighed. "You're incorrigible."

"And you want me anyway."

"I do? Why?"

"I think this goes back to the whole me being 'sexy and damn good in bed' thing."

Marie sighed. "Oh, yeah…"

Logan came over and sat on the bed with her. "The paint job does look nice, though. Good color for you."

"Thanks."

"Hey, Marie?"

"Yeah?"

"I've liked havin' ya here with me. It's the first time in a long time that I haven't been lonely at all. You make me happy."

Marie looked away from her toes. "Thank you, Logan. That means a lot to me."

He reached out and held her face. "And you mean a lot to me, Marie."

She blushed. "I…I…I don't want to smear the polish."

Logan chuckled. "All right, Darlin'. We won't then."

"Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you really like having me around?"

"Of course I do. If I didn't I would've left that first night, two weeks ago."

"Are you going to leave?"

"When?"

"Ever."

"I don't know."

Marie focused back on her toes again, feeling a stab of pain in her stomach that Logan didn't just automatically tell her that no, of course he'd never leave her. She tried to focus on the fact he hadn't told her that he was definitely leaving either, but still, it hurt.

"Marie…Marie, look at me…"

She forced her gaze upwards.

"Marie, I'm not the sort of guy who can make any promises about his future. I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow, or the day after that. Hell, I don't even know what's gonna happen five minutes from now, but I can tell you that I will never leave you completely Marie, no matter what."

"I know that, Logan. I guess what I'm really askin' is, are you gonna run again?"

"Why do you have to ask stuff like that?" Logan asked as he got off the bed and started pacing. "Isn't right now good enough for you? Why do you have to ruin a perfectly good moment by dwellin' on the bad things that could happen?"

Marie put the top back on her nail polish and set it on the dresser. "I'm not 'dwelling on the bad things that could happen,' Logan. I'm just worried. Things have been good these past couple of weeks, and I'm happy with you, but I never know where things stand, whether or not you're gonna be there when I turn around. Yesterday when I woke up and you were in the other room, I panicked. I thought you'd left me again, and I didn't know what to do. How can I live with uncertainty like that hanging over me all the time?"

Logan stopped, facing away from her. "I…I don't know, Darlin'."

Marie got up, careful not to smear her toes, and walked over to Logan. She ran her hand tentatively down his shoulder blade, then wrapped her slender arms around his waist. "Logan, please…I don't want things between us to be hard on you, but I don't want them to hard on me, either. And you're right…what we have now is great and I'm enjoying it more than I ever have anything else, but I don't want this to be all there is for us. I love you."

Logan turned around, wanting to say something, but found all his words lost in her deep brown eyes. He leaned in and kissed her, savoring the taste of her mouth, the feel of her body molding to his, and wanting to give her so much more than he could. He led her over to the bed and loved her in the way that often felt like the only way he knew how.

*** *** ***

Logan held Marie late into the night, watching the peaceful expression on her face as she slept. He kept playing their earlier conversation in his head and remembering the way she'd clung to him as they'd made love. He brushed a lock of moonlit hair away from her face. She loved him—wanted him to be there for her, and be the kind of man women like her dreamed about. Logan knew he'd never be anything but a disappointment to her, and that thought tore him apart.

_I never meant to stay an hour  
I thought that I was passing through  
Another town along the highway  
I never meant to fall for you _

The song Logan had heard before, back in New York with Marie played through his head now. It seemed so fitting now, as Logan thought about how he'd ended up with her. He certainly hadn't been looking for anything like this when he'd gone into that bar in Laughlin City, and not even when he'd agreed to stay in Westchester until Professor Xavier figured out what Magneto wanted. But here she was, and somehow she'd found a way into his heart.

"I don't deserve you, Baby," he murmured, pressing a small kiss into her temple. He started thinking about what had made him leave her back in New York in the first place. She thought that he was afraid of her love, but that wasn't it at all. It was the knowledge that he would someday hurt her and there was no way to avoid it.

He thought back to where it had began for him, back in the bar when Rogue had walked in, dressed to kill. She'd reeked of trouble, and Logan had loved it. He hadn't thought of what would happen the next morning, or any day afterwards. All that had mattered to him was he'd wanted her and she'd wanted him.****

When I sleep with you, Maria  
There's nothing left for dreams to steal

Then, the next morning, he hadn't wanted to leave. He'd loved the feel of her in his arms, the shy smile she'd worn, the way she'd blushed when she said she loved him. She was so innocent, so pure—so in love.

__

"She doesn't need to be mixed up with a man like me…"

Logan winced at the thought. He'd known that from the start, but he'd let himself fall into her arms. Part of him wanted to take her away with him, somewhere where they could really be together, away from everyone and everything else, and he could be happy. But he knew that wasn't what Marie needed. She needed someone who could give her what she needed, the kind of love she deserved. _"Someone like that Bobby kid that's so wild about her,"_ Logan thought.

He took Marie into his arms and rolled her over on his chest. She whimpered a little, but quickly nestled into him. He held her tightly, not sure of what he was going to do, but knowing whatever it was, it would be what was best for Marie.

_When the sunlight brings the mornin'  
I can't tell you what I'll do  
But I've a mind to take you with me  
And I've got a heart to stay with you _

*** *** ***

Marie woke up the next morning to a cold, empty bed. "Logan?" she called. No answer. "Logan?" 

Still no answer and she panicked. "Logan!"

The silence tore at her stomach as she bolted up. She looked beside her where Logan slept and saw a piece of paper on his pillow. Her heart sank as she realized what it was.

__

Marie—

I don't know quite how to say this to make you understand, but leaving was what I had to do. If I stayed with you, it just wouldn't be right. Like you said last night, you could never be sure with me, and that isn't fair to you. You want a man who can give his promise of commitment, and no matter how badly I want to, I can't. I'm not leaving because I don't love you, but I'm because I do. I love you as much as I've ever loved anyone, Darlin', which is why I have to step back. You're the kind of woman who deserves a man who can give her a home, a family, and I can never do that. You need to find someone else, someone who can do what I can't. I know this is breaking your heart, and I hate that I had to leave this way, but it's what I had to do. Someday you'll realize that, too.

I'll always be with you, Marie, and someday, I'll see you again. Hopefully by then you'll have found what you need.

—Logan

Rogue balled the letter up and threw it at the wall with all her strength. How could he do this to her? Didn't he know that she didn't care about a home, or a family, or any of those things? She only wanted him, dammit!

She turned around and started punching her pillow, hot tears stinging her eyes. She'd always been afraid he'd leave again but still, in the back of her mind, she'd never believed that Logan would actually be capable of doing that to her—after all, he'd sworn to take care of her. But he'd done it. He'd caused her the greatest pain she'd ever known, and all under the guise of protecting her. God, how it _hurt_.

Rogue lay in the bed for the next few hours, just staring up at the ceiling and letting the tears flow. All too soon, however, she knew she had to get up. It was time for her to return to the mansion, rejected and alone.

*** *** ***

To be continued…


	5. (5/9)

Chapter Five

"Rogue!" Jubilee exclaimed as the door opened and her friend walked in.

Rogue walked over to her bed and slung her bag down. "Hey, Jubilee. Hey, Kitty."

"Where have you been?" Kitty asked, looking up from her magazine.

"I took a spontaneous vacation."

"To where?" Jubilee asked.

"Nowhere important."

"Rogue, something's wrong," Kitty said. "What is it?"

"I'd rather not talk about it." Rogue took some clothes out of her bag and handed them to Jubilee. "Here, I borrowed these from you."

Jubilee took the clothes from Rogue. "Um…thanks…" She looked up at Rogue's neck and noticed something was missing. "Where are Wolverine's dogtags?"

"I took them off."

"Why?"

"They were chaffing."

"Riiight," Jubilee said. "Rogue, what's going on?"

Rogue sat down on her bed and buried her face in her hands. "I'm an idiot."

Kitty came up behind her and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "No you aren't. Rogue, please, tell us what's going on. We've been worried about you."

"Yeah, you just disappeared for two weeks," Jubilee said. "We're your best friends. You can't keep us out like this."

When Rogue looked up, tears were streaming from her cheeks. "I went up to Canada to see Logan," she said. "I didn't want to sit back and let him walk away this time. And, well, we got together for a little while. It was wonderful, being with him, holding him, looking him in the eyes and knowing he was mine. But he…he…he left."

Jubilee's face twitched with anger. "That bastard!" She jumped up and started pacing. "How could he do that to you! What, did he think you'd be good for a quick roll in the hay and then he could break your heart like he has a million times before?! What a fucking bastard!"

"It wasn't like that, Jubilee. That isn't what Logan meant to do at all."

"But it's what he did!"

Rogue looked down again. "He said he it was because he didn't want to hurt me."

Jubilee rolled her eyes. "Oh please. Why do guys always do that? 'I'm hurting you so I won't hurt you.' Is logic completely lost on them?"

"I know it doesn't make any sense," Rogue said, "But I guess he really thought it would be better like this. Logan would never do anything to hurt me…"

"You really believe that?" Jubilee asked. "Dammit, Rogue, that's all Logan's been doing since the beginning. He's never been here when you needed him, and all he ever does is leave you jus as soon as he's won your trust again!"

"You're wrong!" Rogue said. "Logan has been there for me! He was there for me on top of the Statue of Liberty! He saved my life that night, Jubilee!"

"Yeah, well, what has he done for you since then besides continuously rip out your heart and spit on all that love you have for him?"

Rogue jumped up, almost causing Kitty, who had been watching the debate between Rogue and Jubilee with her eyes wide, to topple over. "You don't understand anything! Logan loves me! He's just gone through things that you could never even dream of, Jubilation. He hasn't been able to get over that."

"So that gives him the right to take advantage of you."

"He didn't take advantage of me! I went to him, Jubilee! I know what kind of man he is; I set myself up for this!"

"You can say you know what kind of man he is," Jubilee said "but I don't think you do. You have this naïve belief that one of these days Logan's just going to decide the two of you are some sort of soul mates and turn away from the only way of life he's ever know so he can settle down with you. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, _Rogue_, but that ain't gonna happen!"

"I am not naïve!" Rogue yelled. "I know exactly what I'm getting into with Logan! Dammit, Jubilee, I've had a hard enough time recently without you acting like a total bitch."

"Rogue, look, I know what I'm saying is harsh, but I'm telling you like a friend. This whole thing with Logan is tearing you apart. Something's gotta give!"

"I'm fine, Jubilee!" 

"No you're not! You mope around the mansion all the time—you're only happy when Logan's here—and then you run off to God knows where just to find him?! You don't think about anyone but yourself and your own self-pity!"

"That is not true!"

"Oh no? Why don't you go ask Bobby!"

"What does Bobby have to do with this?"

"He loves you!"

"Since when were you in the 'Supporters of Bobby Drake' club?" Rogue asked.

Jubilee sighed. "I'm not, I'm just saying it isn't fair to him when you're all starry-eyed over a guy that's never going to give you what you want and you won't even give poor Bobby a real chance!"

"Whether or not I choose to give Bobby a chance with me is none of your business."

"Yes it is! I'm your friend, Rogue! I care about you!"

"It's my life, Jubilee! If you were a real friend, you'd stay the hell out!" Rogue stormed out of the room, slamming the door as hard as she could behind her and making the whole room shake.

Jubilee sighed as she threw herself back on her bed and just stared up at the ceiling. Kitty opened her mouth to say something, but decided better of it and went back to her part of the room to read the rest of her magazine.

*** *** ***

Rogue climbed up to the roof of the mansion to watch the stars. The night sky was beautiful, and she couldn't help but hope, wherever Logan was, he could see it, too. The emptiness his absence was causing her was a million times greater than it ever had been before, and her chest felt so tight that she wasn't sure how she was still breathing.

Tears were rolling down her face, but Rogue wasn't even aware that she was crying. All she could think about was how wonderful being with Logan had been and what a fool she'd been to think it was going to last. She knew that one of the reasons that she had gotten so angry at Jubilee was that Jubilee had hit a nerve, since, at least partway, she had been right.

"Um, Rogue, do you mind if I come out here and sit with you?" Bobby asked timidly.

"Of course not, Bobby," Rogue said as she wiped her eyes that she suddenly realized were wet. "Have a seat."

"Kitty told me you got in a fight with Jubilee."

Rogue nodded. "Yeah, she was trying to tell me how to run my life again."

"She was just trying to help you out." Bobby noticed Rogue get a little angry at his defense of Jubilee and quickly added, "But she really should've just left you alone. Especially since you obviously looked pretty bummed out."

"Bummed out, huh?" Rogue said with a small smile. "That's a mild evaluation."

"What happened Rogue?"

"You don't want to hear it."

"Yes I do."

"Bobby, I know how you feel about me, and…"

"That doesn't change my desire to be there for you no matter what the problem is," Bobby finished for her. "Sure, I'm crazy about you, Rogue, and I'm not exactly so fond of Logan. I've never made any secrets about that. But if you need someone to listen to your troubles—even if they're how much he's broken your heart and how in love with him you are—then I'm here to listen. I don't want to let my feelings interfere with our friendship."

Rogue smiled. "You're a great guy, Bobby Drake."

"Yeah, so I've been told. Of course, it's usually right before the girl ruffles my hair and tells me she loves me—in a brother-sister sort of way."

"I'm sorry, Bobby."

"Don't be Rogue. I've come to accept my lot in life as the unloved clown of the mansion. Besides, we aren't talking about me here."

"I know. It's just so hard to say what I think these days."

"Well, why don't you just explain to me what happened," Bobby said.

Rogue took a deep breath. "Okay, here goes. If you don't want to hear anything I'm telling you, feel free to tell me, all right?"

"All right."

"See, on my twenty-first birthday, I had a bit too much to drink and let it slip to Logan that I loved him."

"Didn't he know?"

Rogue shrugged. "I guess not. Or maybe he was just trying to pretend it didn't make a difference how I felt about him." Rogue saw Bobby wince at her obvious reference to the earlier part of their conversation. "Anyway, I told him and he bolted. It hurt so badly, and I just knew that I couldn't let Logan get away this time.

"So I packed up and followed him to Canada. I talked to the Professor before I left and he told me it was all right, and let me know where I could find Logan, and I was off. I went to this bar where he was fighting, and well, I guess I seduced him." Rogue stopped short as she suddenly broke into a fit of giggles.

"What's so funny?" Bobby asked.

"Oh, just looking back and reminding myself that _I_ really did that," Rogue replied. "I mean, I showed up in this seedy bar in backwater Canada and put on this whole little seductress routine for Logan. I even wore one of Jubilee's dresses."

Bobby raised an eyebrow. "Wish I'd seen that. Well, you in Jubilee's dress—not you going after Logan."

"I figured."

"So did you get him?"

"Yeah, I did. And for two weeks everything was great. I had the time of my life, and I think Logan liked being with me, too. But I always had lingering doubts, you know? I guess it was from all the times he'd left in the past. But I kept telling myself not to worry about it. We hadn't been a couple before, so things were different. He wouldn't leave me this time. But then I told him I was afraid he'd leave, and that I wanted to know for certain if he was staying. I woke up the next morning alone."

"He didn't even say anything to you before he left?" Bobby asked.

"Well, he left me a note."

Bobby tried to suppress his quickly rising anger. He took a deep breath and wrapped his arm around Rogue. "I'm…I'm sorry. I can't believe any man would be stupid enough to let you go like that."

"He said that he loves me, but I deserve someone else—someone who can give me something better than he can."

__

"Finally, something Logan and I agree on," Bobby thought. "Maybe he's right. Maybe you will find someone better."

"There isn't anyone better. I love him with all my heart."

"I know."

Rogue looked up at Bobby, her big, tear-filled eyes breaking his heart. "Is it me, Bobby? Am I not good enough to keep Logan? Is there something wrong with me?"

Bobby had never wanted to hurt anyone more than he wanted to hurt Logan right then. He pulled her to him. "No, Rogue. Please, don't think anything like that. There's obviously something wrong with him, not you. You're perfect."

"I think I may have just asked for a biased opinion," Rogue said.

Bobby chuckled. "Maybe. But no matter whatever happens, I'll always love you."

"I know."

The two of them sat under the stars in silence, Rogue thankful for companionship and Bobby clinging to the little bit of time in which Rogue was actually in his arms.

*** *** ***

Rogue returned to her room later in the night to find Jubilee still up, watching television. "Um, where's Kitty?" Rogue asked.

"I think she's staying in Peter's room tonight."

"I'm surprised she hasn't moved in there yet."

"I don't think she's quite ready for that level of commitment."

"Yeah."

Rogue went over to her closet, pulled out a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, and started changing for bed. The tension level in the room was high, and she regretted fighting with Jubilee the way she had earlier. "So, what are you watching?"

"Letterman."

"Anybody good on?"

"That Hugh Jackman guy you like so much was on earlier."

"And I missed it?"

"I taped it for you," Jubilee said, never once turning away from the television.

"Thanks," Rogue said, feeling even worse for their earlier argument. She smiled a little. "I still say he looks like Logan."

"Oh come on. You see Logan's face in your mashed potatoes."

"He does! Add some sideburns and they'd look exactly alike."

"Okay, get me a picture of Hugh Jackman, I'll draw on a hairstyle reminiscent of former President Martin VanBuren and we'll see."

"Done," Rogue said, pulling out a magazine with him on the cover. She handed Jubilee the magazine and a black magic marker.

Jubilee rolled her eyes, but drew her artistic masterpiece anyway. She regarded the picture for a moment, then burst into a fit of laughter. "Oh my God, he does!"

Rogue started laughing, too. "I told you."

Jubilee sat up and looked at her best friend. "I'm sorry for fighting with you earlier."

"I'm sorry, too," Rogue said.

"I just really worry about you, Rogue. And I know I shouldn't—your life and all—but I can't help it. I love ya, you know?"

"I know, Jubes, and I love ya, too. This is just something I need to work out myself, okay?"

Jubilee nodded. "Okay, I understand. But remember, if you ever need anything, I'm here for you."

"I know. And trust me, if I ever need help, you'll be the first to know."

*** *** ***

Logan had never felt so lonely in his life. He lay alone on the bed in his hotel room, watching a roach scurry across his floor. He hadn't slept in days. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Marie. He knew that wherever she was she was hurting, and that thought only seemed to amplify his own pain.

He's never wanted it to be that way. Logan hoped she knew that and could understand why leaving was for the best. After all, she had wanted to know when it would all end, and now, well, she knew. 

He figured she had probably returned to the mansion and he wanted to go there, even for a moment, just to see her and know she was all right. But he couldn't. Logan knew the moment he looked into her eyes it would be all over for him and he'd just go right back to ruining her life.

Logan regretted ever going into the bar in Laughlin City, regretted ever letting a small, scared girl hitch a ride in his truck. She would've been okay if they'd never met, right? Surely the X-Men would've found her, saved her from Magneto, without his help. And then he never would've been able to hurt her, never been able to give her the flashes of memories that haunted his dreams, never would've made her cry.

__

Never would've broken her heart.

It was that thought that hit Logan the hardest. She had given him her love so completely, and he had thrown it back in her face. _"It was for her own good,"_ he kept reminding himself. _"It was for her own good."_

He knew that Rogue would find happiness without him, and that, in the end, her life would be better because he wasn't a part of it. The small amount of pain he had caused her now would save her from much more heartache in the future. He told himself that over and over again. 

It was the only way he could live with himself.

Now the only problem was, how was he going to get by without her?

*** *** ***

Rogue spent the few months avoiding all questions concerning Logan and just where she had disappeared to for two weeks. She did her best to always remain smiling and happy, trying to keep people—Jubilee in particular—from worrying about her. She kept Wolverine's dogtags in a box, and forced herself to keep him out of her mind. She told herself that he was an addiction, and no matter how hard it hurt, loving him was a habit she had to break.

This time she knew he was gone for good.

Rogue spent much of her time socializing with the other people in the mansion and trying to keep her mind off things by never letting herself be alone long enough for the thoughts of Logan to come creeping back. As her college studies wound to a close, the Professor offered a position at the school as a teacher at the school, which she happily accepted.

After becoming Xavier's School for the Gifted's newest social studies teacher, Rogue tearfully moved out of the room she'd shared with Kitty and Jubilee since she'd first arrived, and into the teacher's wing. She loved both her roommates like sisters, but she knew it was time for her to grow up a little more and move on. Besides, she knew it probably wouldn't be too long until Jubilee and Kitty moved upstairs themselves.

Rogue carried the last box to her new room, then sat down and took a look around, surveying her surroundings. The room was nice and spacious, and she hadn't realized how much she'd missed her privacy until she had it back.

Someone knocked at the door. "Come in!" Rogue called.

Jean Grey-Summers walked into the room. She smiled at Rogue. "Hey. Just wanted to stop by and tell you welcome to the neighborhood."

Rogue chuckled. "Thanks."

"And if you need anything at all, Scott and I are just across the hall. Don't hesitate to ask us."

"All right."

"I really think you're going to make a wonderful teacher," Jean told her. "I have a lot of confidence in your abilities, and I know, no matter what road you take, you'll always be successful."

Jean's compliment made Rogue beam. "Thank you, Jean. It means a lot to me to hear you say that. I look up to you, you know. I have since I first got here. You have so much poise and grace and you're always in control. I wish I could handle things the way you do."

"Don't sell yourself short," Jean said. "You're a rather impressive person yourself."

Rogue gave Jean a hug. "I'm glad to know you think that."

Jean hugged the younger woman back. "You better get some sleep. You have your first class in the morning, and trust me, you're going to need all the rest you can get."

*** *** ***

Ten minutes into her first class and Rogue could see what Jean had meant about her needing rest. It was the first class at Xavier's for her students, too, and they had not yet quite adjusted to life at their new school. They were talking non-stop, giving mini power demonstrations, etc. One boy was actually even literally climbing the walls.

"Uh, please, could you be quiet and sit down," Rogue called again with her already sore throat. "We need to start class."

If anyone heard her, they certainly didn't acknowledge the fact she had spoken, and Rogue was becoming so exasperated she was almost to the point of tears. She wished for a moment that she had some impressive power—like flight. Maybe if she was able to do somersaults in the air the class would pay attention to her.

"Hey! Didn't you hear the lady!" A voice suddenly boomed in the room. "I believe she told you heathens to be quiet. Think you can do that for her or am I going to have to make you?"

The sound of the newcomer jarred the students out of their revelry, and they all sat down in their seats. Rogue looked up across the room at Bobby Drake, who had the sternest expression on his face that she had ever seen him wear. "Thank you," she mouthed.

Bobby gave her a quick wink, then quickly frowned again. "Now it just isn't polite to treat your teacher that way. Miss Rogue is a really nice lady and she deserves your attention. I'm going to go, and you are all going to behave. If you don't, then you'll find out exactly how cold a deep freeze is. Got it?"

The class nodded.

"Good. See ya around, Rogue," Bobby said, leaving the classroom. Rogue gave him a nod goodbye, then turned back to her now-attentive class, ready to teach.

*** *** ***

Rogue caught up with Bobby during the lunch break. "I wanted to say thanks again for handling my class the way you did. I was about at my limit, and I don't think I could've gotten loud enough to be heard over them."

"Oh it was no problem. I walked by the classroom and saw you were having trouble and knew I couldn't exactly leave you to the wolves like that."

"Well I'm glad you walked by when you did. One question though."

"Shoot."

"How'd you manage to look so mean? I didn't think you had it in you, Drake."

Bobby shrugged. "I did my best impersonation of my father."

Rogue raised an eyebrow. "Must've been fun growing up in your house."

"Oh it was a regular laugh riot. Hey, wanna grab a bite to eat with me?"

"I don't know…I really should get back to the classroom. I want plenty of time to prepare for my after-lunch class."

"Oh come on. You still owe me for that time you stood me up right after you got here."

"I told you I did meet you! And _you_ told me to leave the mansion!"

"I did nothing of the sort!"

"Let's not rehash five-year-old arguments, okay?"

"Then eat lunch with me and we'll call it even."

Rogue sighed. "Fine, Bobby, you win. Let's go."

*** *** ***

"Thanks again for saving me in there," Rogue said as she sat down with Bobby to eat lunch.

"You're welcome," Bobby said. "Although I think you probably could've calmed them down on your own if you'd gotten a little louder."

Rogue shook her head. "I don't think so. I'm just not that mean."

"Ha! You can be plenty mean when you want to be. Trust me on that one. You've ripped into me enough."

Rogue laughed. "Yeah, well, it's easy to yell at you."

Bobby smiled. "You wound my pride."

"What pride?"

"The pride I used to have until you killed it, you mean, mean woman!"

"I've killed your pride, huh? Well, looks like my mission is complete."

"I knew it! You _are_ out to get me!"

"But of course!"

After he and Rogue shared a laugh, Bobby asked, "So how did your classes go after the little upset in the morning?"

"Oh, fairly well. My first class was well behaved after you came in and shut them up, and I didn't have too bad of trouble with any of the ones after that. All though I do feel bad for Ms. Munroe after remembering how me, you, Jubilee, and St. John used to act up in her class."

"Hey, Kitty was in on that, too," Bobby pointed out.

"Yeah, but she was good at looking like teacher's pet as soon as Storm turned around."

"Very true. She could keep a straight face while the rest of us couldn't keep from snickering."

"What about you?" Rogue asked. "You're keeping the books for the mansion now, aren't you?"

"Yeah. Man, the Professor's got a lot of money. I swear, he could run a small country."

"Look around you. He practically is."

"Very true."

"Have you given any thought to teaching? You obviously have the ability to get control of a classroom."

"Actually, Professor Xavier suggested I teach a class on personal bookkeeping to some of the older kids, and I think I'm going to take him up on the offer."

"I might have to sit in on that one," Rogue said. "I can't balance a checkbook for anything."

"You know, I could always give you private lessons…" Bobby said with a wink.

Rogue blushed. "I'll think about it."

"So how many classes do you have today?" Bobby asked.

"Five. One U.S. history, one world history, two American government, and one geography."

"Which was the class this morning."

"That was the geography. I can already tell that class is going to give me trouble. The kids are rowdy and I hate the subject. Maps bore me."

"Yeah, same here, but I'm sure you'll do fine. Just work that charm of yours on the class and you'll have them eating out of your hand."

Rogue gave him a puzzled look. "What charm? I don't think I have any."

"Oh trust me, Rogue, it's there."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because you charmed me from the moment you walked into Ms. Munroe's class."

"Bobby…"

"I know, I know, you don't want to hear it, but it's true—though I got used to my love for you being unrequited a long time ago."

"Jubilee said once that it isn't fair of me not to give you a 'real chance' with me. Do you feel the same way?" Rogue asked.

Bobby took a deep breath, trying to think of the best way to answer. "No," he said after a moment. "I don't feel that way. What wouldn't be fair would be you getting together with me just because it was something I wanted. You wouldn't be happy, and in the end, neither would I."

Rogue nodded. "I'm glad you understand that."

"Yeah."

They ate the rest of their meal in silence.

*** *** ***

Rogue collapsed on her bed after her first day at work. She'd never thought that teaching could take so much out of a person. She started to say something to Kitty and Jubilee, but then remembered she was alone now. _"That's going to take some getting used to,"_ Rogue thought.

It had been a long day, and Rogue found that all she wanted to do was relax. She got up and started changing out of her clothes and into something comfortable. She climbed back into bed and turned on the television, deciding to see what was on before she went to sleep.

She lay alone, the only sounds in the room those coming from the TV, and she suddenly felt lonelier that she had in a long time. She missed her roommates, the constant sound of their voices had always made the room seem less empty. But most of all, in the silence, she missed Logan. She thought back to those two short weeks she'd spent with him in Canada, and the way it had felt to be in his arms.

The thoughts of Logan made Marie feel cold, and she pulled the blankets around her tightly. She hadn't let herself cry for Logan since the first night she came back, but now she couldn't help but let the tears flow. She was desperate for him, even just a part of him. She opened her bedside table drawer and pulled out the small wooden box where she kept Wolverine's tags. She took them out and clutched the cold metal to her chest.

She cried herself to sleep that night, still holding the dogtags close to her heart.

*** *** ***

To be continued…


	6. (6/9)

Chapter Six

Rogue sat up late one night in her classroom, grading the stack of tests she had given to her American government classes that day. Scott had laughed when she'd told him that she tried to get test back to her students the day after they'd taken them and had told her that she'd grow out of that soon enough. She'd been surprised that Scott, the mansion's official overachiever, had had such an attitude, but now she realized how easily it was to get overwhelmed with grading and that this was probably too hard of a task for even him to perform.

Rogue's eyes started to blur as they darted from the tests to the answer key, and she wished more than anything that she'd just given in and made the test on one of those Scantron sheets. She'd much rather have a machine grading these things for her.

"Burning the midnight oil?"

Rogue looked up. "Bobby! Hey! Come in here and talk to me."

Bobby raised an eyebrow. "Since when did you want my company."

"Since I got so bored that I'd talk to a brick wall if I thought it would respond."

"Gee, thanks."

"Come on, have a seat. You can help me grade these damn things."

"Wow. I get to grade papers. I'm so honored," Bobby said as he pulled a chair up to Rogue's desk.

"I can tell. You sound thrilled."

"Oh, I am, really," He took a test and Rogue turned the answer key so he could see it to. "So what was the test on anyway?"

"The early political theories that contributed to the Declaration of Independence and, eventually, the Constitution as well."

"Um, sounds, um, exciting."

"You'd like it if I was the one teaching it to you."

"Oh, I don't doubt that. You could stand up here and talk about knitting for hours and I'd be enthralled."

"Would you be paying attention to a word I was saying?"

"No."

"Well, at least you're honest."

Bobby and Rogue graded her papers together, with the only conversation for a while occurring when he'd ask her how to score a confusing answer. When they were through, Rogue slumped back in her chair in relief. "Finally!" she said. "Thanks for helping me with that. I was about to go crazy trying to get them done."

"What, have you had them for a month or something?" Bobby asked.

"No, they turned them in today, I just don't like to make my students wait for their test grades."

"Wow. You're more of an overachiever that Scott."

"Oh shut up."

"Make me."

Rogue reached up and put her hand over his mouth. Bobby leaned in and kissed it. Rogue pulled her hand away and looked away, blushing.

"I'm…I'm sorry, Rogue. I shouldn't have done that."

"No, it's okay. It just surprised me, that's all."

Rogue looked up, and the sight of her flushed face took Bobby's breath away. He reached out and cupped her chin in his hand, and she didn't move. He pulled her face closer, until finally their lips met. Rogue stiffened at first, then relaxed into the kiss. Bobby moved his hands to her back to support her, then gently lifted her up and put her in his lap. Rogue tangled her hands in his hair.

Rogue's thoughts were in a blur. All she could think was how good it felt to be pressed up against another warm body, to have someone else's hands and lips on her. She moaned against his mouth and pushed herself closer to him. Rogue could feel his body responding.

Bobby stood up, bringing Rogue with him. She wrapped her legs around his hips and he held on to her with one arm behind her back while he swiped all the papers they'd work so hard to grade on to the floor. He lowered them both down on to the now-cleared desk, never once breaking the kiss.

Their hands were a flurry of motion, and it wasn't long until both of their shirts ended up on the ground. Bobby's mouth began to trail from Rogue's lips down her neck and she ran her hands along his back.

Suddenly, the full impact of what she was doing hit Rogue, and she pushed up on Bobby's chest. "Wait…Bobby…we need to stop."

He pulled up and looked down at her. "What's wrong?"

"We can't do this. It's too sudden," Rogue said.

"Sudden? Rogue, I've been wanting this for five years…"

Rogue pushed him off her and sat up, covering her nearly-bare chest with her arms. "I know, but it's too sudden for me. I'm not ready to jump into a relationship at this level."

Bobby nodded. "I understand."

"So you're not mad at me?"

"No. I'm disappointed, but I'm not mad at you. I'm not going to be upset with you because you're not ready for something like that." He took her face in his hands, forcing her to look into his eyes. "I love you, Rogue, and yes, I want to sleep with you. No point in denying that. But if you're not ready for that now and want to wait, or even if you never want to with me, that's fine. I don't want to pressure you into something you're just going to regret."

Rogue's eyes filled up with tears. "Thank you, Bobby."

Bobby walked over and got Rogue's shirt, handed it to her, and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Go on and go to bed. I'll stay and clean up this mess here."

"Thank you," Rogue said softly. She slipped her shirt back on, then gave Bobby a light kiss before running out of the room.

Bobby watched her go, wondering what would happen now.

*** *** ***

As soon as her last class was over the next day, Rogue ran up to her old room. "Jubilee, thank God you're in," she said as her best friend opened the door.

"Um, Rogue, are you okay?" Jubilee asked.

"Is anyone else here?"

"Uh, just Kitty…"

"Good. I need to talk to her, too." Rogue pushed her way into the room and sat down on the couch where her bed used to be. "I have a slight problem."

Kitty and Jubilee both sat across from Rogue on Jubilee's bed. "What is it?" Kitty asked.

"I almost had sex with Bobby."

"Yeah, I'd have to say that would be a problem," Jubilee said.

"When?" Kitty asked. 

"Last night. I was grading papers, and he helped me. We were just talking and the next thing I know we were lying on my desk, ripping each other's clothes off."

"Dang, Girl, I didn't know that grading got you teachers so hot and bothered…" Jubilee said.

Rogue frowned. "Ha ha. This is serious!"

"So what do you plan to do about it?" Kitty asked.

"I don't know. I made him stop last night…I just wasn't ready for something like that with him."

"Do you think you'd ever be ready?" Kitty asked.

Rogue sighed. "Maybe…I don't know. I'm so confused!" She buried her face in her hands.

"Well, did you like what was happening between you two up to the point where you stopped?" Jubilee asked.

"Yes, but I don't know if I liked it because it was Bobby or just because I wasn't alone."

"Well, maybe you should talk to Bobby about it," Kitty suggested. "You might find you really like him, and maybe you guys could be happy together."

"I think Kitty's right," Jubilee said. "Bobby could be good for you, Rogue."

"You guys really think so?" Rogue asked.

Jubilee and Kitty both nodded. "Yeah, we do," Jubilee said.

"I just don't know if I'm ready for a relationship. I mean, I just lost Logan…"

"Rogue, you need to get over Logan," Jubilee said. "He's gone. Maybe Bobby could be just what you need to get on with your life."

Rogue looked up. "I just don't know. Do y'all really think Bobby would be right for me?"

"Of course!" Kitty said. "He's sweet, funny, cute…what more could you need?"

__

"Fuzzy sideburns and adamantium claws," Rogue thought dryly. "I can't think of anything," she said.

"You really should pursue this thing with Bobby," Jubilee said. "Even if you just start out with something small—a dinner date maybe."

"Yeah…" Rogue said. "Dinner couldn't hurt."

"So go talk to him," Jubilee said.

"Yeah, go talk to Bobby," Kitty urged. "You two really would make the perfect couple."

Rogue stood up. "Okay, I'll go talk to him. Maybe it could work with us."

"I'm sure it will," Kitty said.

"Thanks, y'all," Rogue said, leaving to find Bobby.

*** *** ***

Rogue felt like she was hyperventilating as soon as she knocked on Bobby's door. What was she going to say? She'd felt so confident when she was talking to Kitty and Jubilee, but now…now she wasn't so sure.

"Yes?" 

Rogue looked up, startled, and then realized Bobby's roommate, St. John, had answered the door. "Um, is Bobby there?"

"Yeah. I'll get him for ya. Hey, Robert, girl for you at the door!"

Bobby stepped out a moment later. He was wearing a T-shirt and sweatpants, and Rogue could tell from his wet hair that he'd just recently gotten out of the shower. "Uh, hey, Rogue."

"Hey, Bobby."

"I'll, um, leave you two alone," St. John said, slipping back into the room.

"So, what brings you here?" Bobby asked.

"I wanted to talk." Rogue paused, then added quickly. "About last night."

"Rogue, look, I'm sorry about that. Things got carried away, I didn't mean for that to happen. Don't be upset with me."

"No! I mean, I'm not upset with you at all. Actually, I was thinking maybe we could do something tonight. But you don't look like you were exactly prepared to go anywhere…"

"Uh, I can get ready real quick, I swear," Bobby said. "What did you have in mind?"

"Dinner maybe? Outside the mansion?"

"Sounds good. Meet you in half an hour and we'll decide where to go from there?"

"Great. I'll meet you in the foyer at…" Rogue looked down at her watch. "Five thirty?"

"I'll be there."

Rogue smiled. "Okay. See you then."

Bobby smiled back. "See you then."

*** *** ***

Rogue glanced at herself in the mirror, searching for any imperfection she may have left uncovered. _"Don't be stupid, Girl,"_ she chided herself. _"Bobby'll like ya no matter what you look like. After all, he's seen ya at your worst and still kept on loving you."_

She took a deep breath as she went to her closet and pulled out her jacket. She slipped it on and put her hand into the pocket. She felt a crumpled piece of paper in and took it out. She unfolded it, and as her eyes glanced over the first few words, she felt her heart stop.

__

Marie—

I don't know quite how to say this to make you understand, but leaving…

Rogue crumpled the paper again and threw it to ground as if it were on fire. Why had she picked the jacket she'd worn on her trip home from Canada? She hadn't worn it since she'd gotten back, and she had plenty of other ones to choose from.

Rogue frowned. Maybe it was a sign. But what kind of sign? Was it a sign that she _shouldn't_ go out with Bobby because she wasn't over Logan enough yet, or a sign that she _should_ go out with Bobby because Logan was all wrong for her. She bounced the two possibilities around in her head for a moment before deciding that trying to read into signs was a waste of her time.

She put the jacket on and left the room. The letter remained in a ball on the floor.

*** *** ***

Bobby looked across the table at Rogue. He couldn't believe he was there, with her—on a real date. After so many years of waiting, he was so close to having the woman of his dreams. He reached out and took Rogue's hand. She just smiled at him and didn't pull away. 

"I'm glad you wanted to come out with me tonight," Bobby said.

"Me, too," Rogue said. "I'm having a good time with you."

"Rogue, I need to ask you something," Bobby said, pulling his hand away. "It's serious."

"Okay…ask away."

"Where do I stand with you?"

"I've been asking myself the same question."

"And?"

Rogue looked away in order to avoid his gaze. "I don't know. I mean, it's so soon…after…after Logan."

"Rogue, Logan's gone."

"I know! It's just, well, I don't know if I can open myself up to someone like that again." She looked up and a single tear rolled down her cheek. "I'm still hurtin', Bobby."

"But I'm not going to hurt you the way he did. Rogue, I've loved you for five years and not once have those feelings wavered," Bobby said. "What do I have to do to prove my loyalty to you."

"Please, Bobby, I'm trying…I just don't know yet, okay?"

Bobby gave her the best smile he could muster. "I'll give you as much time as you need, Rogue. No pressure."

"I'll try not to make you wait too long."

*** *** ***

Rogue and Bobby parked the car in the mansion's parking lot and then walked together towards the door in the garage. "Still don't have a permit to park your car inside, huh?" Rogue said teasingly.

"Nah, I guess the Professor just doesn't think my car is as valuable as his Rolls-Royce."

"Imagine that." Rogue stopped short. "What's that sound?"

Bobby listened for a moment, then said. "I think someone left the radio on down here."

"Probably Scott," Rogue said. "He comes down here to work on his motorcycle, and then Jean does that mind-thingy to call him inside and he forgets to turn it off."

"And he's supposed to be the together one of the team."

"Hey, compared to the rest of us…"

"Very true." Bobby gave her a charming grin. "Well, since we have the music anyway, care to dance?"

"I don't know…I'm not much of a dancer."

"Oh, come on. I've seen you dance plenty of times. Remember the time that Jubilee dared you to dance on the table in the cafeteria?"

Rogue turned bright red. "I can't believe you remember that!"

"Rogue, I believe that image is forever burned into my mind. Along with the look on Scott's face when he walked in and your sweater hit him in the face."

"I had a shirt on under it!"

"I know that. All though I don't think _he_ realizes that at first…"

Rogue shook her head. "Can't I just put that behind me?"

"Not with the Polaroids still floating out there somewhere. Now come on, dance with me. A song's just starting."

"It's slow."

"Even better." Bobby pulled Rogue to him and she quickly gave in.

**__**

Girl, I know you're hurting  
Right now you feel like  
You could never love again  
Now all I ask is for a chance  
To prove that I love you

Rogue rested her head on Bobby's shoulder and wrapped her arms around his waist. He put one hand on the small of her back and the other in her hair. She sighed against him, so grateful to feel loved, wanted.

**__**

From the first day that I saw your smiling face  
Honey, I knew that we would be together forever  
Ooh and I asked you out, you said no  
But I found out  
Darling, that you'd been hurt  
You felt that you'd never love again  
I deserve a try, honey, just once  
Give me a chance and I'll prove this all wrong  
You walked in you were so quick to judge  
But honey, he's nothing like me

Bobby kissed the top of Rogue's hair and pulled her closer to him. He could feel her tears soaking through his shirt and Bobby wanted nothing more than to erase all the pain Logan had caused her. He couldn't fathom how any man could receive Rogue's unconditional love and then just throw it away. He swore that if he ever truly made her his, he'd never hurt her the way Logan had. Never.

**__**

I'll never break your heart  
I'll never make you cry  
I'd rather die, then live without you  
I'll give you all of me  
Honey that's no lie  
I'll never break your heart  
I'll never make you cry  
I'd rather die, then live without you  
I'll give you all of me  
Honey that's no lie

Rogue was surprised at how warm she felt next to Bobby. His skin had always been cold to the touch in the past, but tonight, it wasn't. She remembered it hadn't been the night before either, in her classroom. But Rogue didn't want to think about that. She didn't want to think about anything. All she wanted to do was _feel_.

**__**

As time goes by you will get to know me  
A little more better  
Girl that's the way love goes baby, baby  
I know you are afraid to let  
Your feelings show (feelings show)  
And I understand  
But girl it's time to let go  
Girl it's time to let go(girl it's time to let go)

Bobby looked down to see Rogue staring up at him, tears in her eyes. He kissed them away, feeling her shiver in his arms. "I love you," he said. Rogue nodded, unable to speak. Bobby leaned down and captured her lips in a kiss.

**__**

I'll never break your heart  
No way (no way)no how  
I'll make you cry  
Oh, need me  
Honey no way  
I'll do you right(no how)  
I say no how

As she kissed Bobby, Rogue pushed away all her lingering doubts. _"To Hell with Logan,"_ she thought. _"I can and _will_ live my life without him and be perfectly happy."_ She put her all into the embrace, meeting Bobby passion for passion.

**__**

I would never do that to you girl  
Ooh, just give me a chance  
To prove you how much I love you  
I would give you the world  
If you're my girl...

As the song ended, Bobby and Rogue moved their kiss from the garage into the mansion. It was late enough that most of the morning people were already in bed, but still early enough that most of the night owls were still out, but neither Rogue nor Bobby cared if they ran into anyone or not. They staggered up the stairs—never once taking their hands off each other—and when they reached Rogue's room, they toppled in, shutting the door behind them.

*** *** ***

It didn't take long for Bobby and Rogue to be known as a couple around the mansion. Jubilee and Kitty were happy for their friend, feeling like she had finally chosen what was best for her. She never mentioned Logan anymore, never wore his dogtags, and always had a smile in public.

Bobby was devoted to her, gave her everything she could ever need or want, and everyone said they were perfect for each other, and wanted to know why it had taken so long for them to finally get together. Rogue decided that someone like Bobby must've been what Logan thought was the kind of man she deserved. 

Nevertheless, when Rogue was alone, she couldn't always ignore the lingering emptiness she felt inside. She didn't just miss Logan—she missed what he made her feel. Bobby just couldn't light her on fire the way Wolverine had.

But as she lay next to Bobby, watching him sleep in what had become their bedroom, Rogue knew she couldn't hold that against him. She doubted any man would be able to affect her the way Logan had. The love she had with Bobby was the kind two people could build a life together with, and she wasn't about to throw it away for a memory.

Rogue smiled as she ran her hand through Bobby's hair. She had the kind of life many people dreamed of. Sure, the mansion wasn't exactly a quaint house with a white picket fence, and she couldn't bake an apple pie to save her life, but she heard day in and day out that she and Bobby made the perfect American couple. She knew it would only be a matter of time before he proposed and it would be a storybook wedding.

Rogue lay back down in the bed, though sleep didn't come for quite some time.

*** *** ***

Something wasn't right about the day. It reminded Rogue of one summer she'd spent in Biloxi as a child with her grandmother. A hurricane had come through, and all day there had been the unsettling "calm before the storm." Rogue felt that now, as if something was coming.

She found out just before sunset just what that "something" was.

Rogue was sitting on the couch in the main room with Kitty watching the news when she heard the sound of a motorcycle. Rogue froze.

"What is it?" Kitty asked.

"I hear a motorcycle. Logan's here."

"Rogue, the sound of a motorcycle does not automatically mean Logan. Scott has a motorcycle, and so do a few of the students. It could be any one of them."

"No, Kitty. That's Logan's motorcycle. Trust me."

"I don't know, Rogue, after what you said happened between you guys the last time you saw him, it just doesn't seem like he'd come back here."

"Kitty, it has been a while. Maybe he's figured I've moved on—which I have—and doesn't feel the need to hide out anymore."

"Possibly, but I still don't see how you can be so positive that it's…"

"Hey, Darlin'."

Rogue bolted up and turned around and Kitty grew completely silent. Rogue walked over to Logan and slapped him hard, ignoring how badly his adamantium-laced bones made her hand sting. "I am _not_ your 'Darlin''," she growled at him before she sauntered up stairs.

Kitty stared for a moment longer until she realized Logan was looking at her. She turned back to the news.

Wolverine slumped off to find the Professor.

*** *** ***

Marie sat in a chair beside the window in her room, crying. How could he do this to her? After leaving her alone to live her life and get past all the pain he'd caused her, why did Logan have to come back ? Wouldn't it be easier for him just to keep up with his loner lifestyle? What kept calling him back to the mansion?

Marie looked down at the palm of the hand she'd used to slap Logan, and realized it was probably going to bruise. But she didn't care. It had been worth it just to cause him even a brief second of pain after all he'd put her through.

"Rogue? Rogue, sweetheart, are you in here?" Bobby asked as he came quietly into their room.

"I'm over by the window," Rogue called out to him, her emotional state betrayed by her voice.

Bobby ran over to her. "Are you all right?"

She shook her head. "No."

Bobby got her a tissue from the bedside table. He handed it to her, then crouched down beside her chair. "What happened? Why are you crying?"

Rogue couldn't answer him. All she could do was cry harder.

"Please…tell me…" Bobby begged. He hated seeing her in pain, especially when he didn't know why.

"Logan," she said between sobs. "He's back."

Bobby's blood ran colder than usual. "Logan? _Wolverine_?"

Rogue nodded.

Bobby didn't know what to say. He wanted to ask her if she still loved Logan, but was afraid that he couldn't handle the answer if it wasn't the one he wanted to hear. "Are…are you going to be okay?" he asked in a rush.

"I think so. It's just seeing him again brought so much rushing to the surface and I guess I just couldn't handle it."

"What can I do to help you?"

Rogue's whole body was shaking with the force of her sobs. "Hold me, Bobby. Please, I just need to be held."

Bobby pulled her down from the chair and into his lap on the floor and held her close.

*** *** ***

"Hey, you!" 

Jubilee heard someone calling down the hall. She turned around and saw Wolverine standing a few feet away from her. "Me?"

"Do you see anyone else around?"

"Um, no, but at this place that doesn't necessarily mean no one else is here," Jubilee said.

"Don't get smart on me, Kid," Logan growled. "Are you that girl that used to wear yellow all the time? Rogue's friend?"

"My _name_ is Jubilation Lee. Jubilee to all my friends, and Ms. Lee to you. And yes, I'm that girl."

"All right, _Ms. Lee_, can you answer a question for me?"

Jubilee crossed her arms in front of her. "Depends. Ask me the question and I'll tell you if I've got an answer."

"You have any idea why Rogue woulda slapped me when I came back?" Logan asked.

__

"She slapped_ him?!"_ Jubilee thought. _"Go Rogue!"_ "Jeez, if you can't figure that one out you're dumber than you look," she told Wolverine.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Jubilee sighed. "Men. I never understood why everyone else doesn't realize they were born simply to be love-slaves for all the much more highly advanced women. Anyway, let me try to explain it to you—in small words so your dumb ass can understand. You hurt Rogue. Rogue cry—long time. Rogue get over you. Rogue love Bobby now. You come back. You piss Rogue off. Comprende?"

"Thanks, Tarzan, I think I got it."

"Glad to be of service," Jubilee said sarcastically. "Now if you don't mind, I'll be going now."

"Wait, one more question. And you don't have to answer me like I'm brain dead this time."

Jubilee rolled her eyes. "As long as you don't ask another question that makes you sound brain dead, I won't."

"How serious are Rogue and Bobby?"

"Very. They've been together for ten months, sharing a room for eight, and I happen to know that Bobby's going to pop the question very soon—and when he does, Rogue's gonna say yes. So don't you dare mess things up for her. You've fucked with that girl enough. It's time for you to get your kicks elsewhere."

"I was never just getting my 'kicks' with her."

"Yeah, whatever, Buster. You weren't here every time you broke Rogue into a million teeny-tiny little pieces and she had to be glued back together. I was, and plenty of times I was the one holding the bottle of Elmer's. Rogue doesn't deserve going through something like that again."

"I know," Logan said. "And I want to make it up to her somehow, and at least get her friendship back. I know now I didn't do right by her."

"Yeah, well, great observation, but it's a little too late. Now if you don't mind, I have better things to do with my time."

Jubilee walked away, leaving Logan speechless.

*** *** ***

It was well after whatever hours society's norms deemed "decent," and Logan was lying on his bed alone, smoking a cigar. He heard a faint tap and sat up. Was someone knocking on his door?

He listened intently until he heard the sound again. This time he was certain it was the door. He frowned as he went to answer it, wondering who could be disturbing him this late, and not even bothering to put on a shirt to cover his bare chest.

He caught her scent before he'd even opened the door all the way. "Marie?"

She was holding out his dogtags. "I believe these belong to you."

Logan felt a lump grow in his throat as he took them from her small, trembling hands and placed them around his neck. He'd missed the feel of them hanging against his chest when he's first given them away, but now, he wanted them off more than anything else in the world, for he knew that having them meant he'd lost Marie.

"Marie…I…"

"Don't say it Logan. I don't want to hear anything from you anymore. Everything you ever said to me was a lie."

"No! Marie, that ain't true! I never lied to you, Darlin', I just couldn't always keep my promises."
    
    "I told you Logan, I'm not your 'Darlin''."

Logan looked down at the ground. "I know."

Marie could feel her resolve slipping. She had come planning to be strong and give Wolverine his dogtags back, cutting off the last of her ties to him, but she certainly hadn't planned on him answering the door shirtless. She guessed she should've known, since that was how he liked to sleep, but she just hadn't entered that factor into the equation, and it made quite a big difference. For some reason, the sight of Logan's chest had always made her weak in the knees.

"Well, that's why I came, so I might as well go now," Marie said.

"No, wait. Stay," Logan said, his head darting up so his eyes could meet hers.

"I can't. Logan, Bobby and I are…"

"I know," Logan said. "But I don't mean like that. I want you to stay and talk to me. Fill me in on what I've missed."

Marie shook her head. "I'm sorry, Logan, but I'm not telling you what you missed. You're going to figure that out on your own."

Rogue walked away, moving her hips in a way that made sure Logan knew exactly what he'd been missing.

*** *** ***

Rogue leaned against the inside of the door to her bedroom, trying to catch her breath. She was amazed at the level of control she'd just managed to maintain. As soon as Logan had opened the door she'd wanted to throw everything from the life she'd built since Logan to the wayside and jump Wolverine right then and there. But she hadn't. She'd stayed strong.

She was shaking when she climbed back into bed with Bobby. He hadn't moved since she'd gotten up, and Rogue was grateful for the fact that he was such a heavy sleeper. She moved close to him, reminding herself over and over again just how lucky she was to have all that she did, and that she shouldn't see Logan as anything more than a past fling who she just happened to have amazing chemistry with.

Rogue let out a deep breath. Why did Logan have a habit of coming back just when he could mess things up the most? Why couldn't he just stay out of her life the way he'd promised in the letter?

Why couldn't life just let her be happy?

*** *** ***

To be continued…


	7. (7/9)

Chapter Seven

Ororo Munroe walked into Rogue's classroom to find the younger woman sitting alone at her desk in the room, looking like death warmed over. Her hair was much more unkempt that usual, her skin pale, and her eyes were lined by dark circles.

"Goddess, Child, what has happened to you?" Storm asked as she came into the room. As she got closer, she noticed Rogue had been crying.

"I didn't sleep well last night," Rogue said. "And Wolverine's return has me on edge."

"You look…rough," Storm said, not sure of what the most diplomatic word to use would be in order to describe Rogue's current physical appearance.

"Yeah, I'm sure I do," Rogue said. "I broke down in front of my class today."

Storm looked horrified. "Whatever pushed you to do that?"

"Oh, I don't know. Logan, I guess. He's always reeked havoc on my emotions."

"I thought you would be over him by now."

Rogue gave a humorless laugh. "Yeah, so did I."

"Are you going to be all right? Do you need someone to take over your classes for a while?"

Rogue shook her head. "No. I'll be fine. Tomorrow's Saturday. I'll be able to rest, and maybe I can go somewhere and get out of the mansion for a while."

"That sounds like a good idea. You do look like you could use some time away from here."

"Yeah, I'm sure do."

"You and Bobby could possibly spend the weekend away."

"Maybe. I'll talk to him about it."

"I am sure you will be fine."

Rogue nodded. She knew she'd be fine, too—eventually.

*** *** ***

Rogue decided to take Storm's advice and go away for the weekend. She and Bobby rented a room at a nearby Bed and Breakfast, and Rogue did all she could to relax and keep her mind off the fact that when she got home Sunday night, Logan would be there. Every time she let her thoughts wander, however, his face was the dominant image in her mind.

"Hon, are you okay?"

Rogue looked up, her expression slightly startled. "Huh? Were you trying to talk to me, Bobby?"

"Yeah, I called your name a couple of times, and you didn't respond. Are you feeling all right?"

"I was just lost in thought," Rogue explained.

"You've been worrying me ever since _he_ got back," Bobby said. "You've seemed so…distant."

"I'm sorry," Rogue said. "Logan coming back just threw me for a loop, that's all."

"You're not still in love with him, are you?" Bobby asked, deciding he had to know the answer.

Rogue was surprised at how quickly the little voice in her head screamed, _"Yes!"_ "No," she told Bobby. "I got over him a long time ago."

"Are you sure?"

"Why would you ask a question like that?"

Bobby let out a deep breath. "Because you haven't been acting like you're over him."

Rogue looked down at her hands and Bobby braced himself for the worst. Rogue walked over and knelt in front of him, and Bobby looked up, searching for any signs of hope in her eyes. She put her hand on his cheek, making him smile weakly.

"Bobby, I love you," Rogue told him. "Anything I had with Logan is in the past now. I'm sorry that I've been acting strangely ever since he came home, but I just wasn't expecting it, and having him around put a lot of stress on me. But there's no reason to worry. You're who I want to be with now."

Bobby took her hands in his. "Do you mean that, Rogue? I need to know now, am I really the man you want to be with?"

"Yes."

"Forever?"

"Yeah."

"There's something I've wanted to give you for a while, and I've been waiting for the perfect moment, but I figure now is as good a time as any." Bobby walked over to his suitcase and started rummaging for something. Rogue stood up, watching him intently. He came over and knelt down on one knee in front of her. Rogue couldn't decide if the feeling in her stomach was butterflies or dread.

Bobby opened the box and Rogue stared down at the ring. "Will you marry me?"

Rogue nodded numbly. "Yes."

Bobby stood up and slipped the ring on her finger. Rogue smiled at him. "I love you," he said as he leaned down to kiss her.

Rogue began to cry and she told herself they were tears of joy.

*** *** ***

Rogue wore her most realistic smile as Kitty and Jubilee squealed over her engagement ring. 

"You are so lucky," Jubilee said. 

"You really are," Kitty said. "You and Bobby are like the perfect couple."

"I was thinking more of the diamond," Jubilee said. "That thing's huge! How did Drake afford that?"

"He said he's been saving up for a while. And the Professor gave him some money for it, I think," Rogue said.

"I'm going to cry!" Kitty said as she jumped up and hugged Rogue. She sat back down wiping her eyes. "I'm so happy for both you and Bobby."

"Y'all are going to be my bridesmaids, right?" Rogue asked.

"Of course!" Jubilee said. "And, um, who gets to be your maid or honor?"

"I'll let the two of you fight that out," Rogue said. "I'm not making the decision that could start World War III."

"We could do like they did on _Friends_ where each of us agrees to be the maid of honor for one of the others," Kitty said.

"That could work," Rogue said, "But who's going to volunteer to be Jubilee's?"

"Uh…you?"

Jubilee thought for a second, then her eyes got wide. "Hey! Are you guys insinuating that I'll never get married?"

Rogue and Kitty both looked down at the ground, shuffling their feet. "Well, you've never exactly had a boyfriend for more than a couple of months…" Kitty said.

"That's just because I haven't found anyone good enough for me yet," Jubilee said.

"That's because there's no one good enough for the Great Jubilee," Rogue said with a giggle.

Jubilee lounged back on the couch. "Probably not. So I guess I'll just have to settle with marrying some old rich guy who's about to die and get all his money."

"You're terrible!" Kitty said.

"Yeah, but someday I'll be _rich_ and terrible. You'll just be married to some guy who would probably crush you if he rolled over in his sleep."
    
    Kitty blushed. "I can always phase and get out."

"What if he crushes you _before_ you have the chance to wake up and phase."

"Don't scare me like that, Jubilee!"

Rogue stood up. "Well, as amusing as the two of you are, I'm supposed to meet Bobby so we can tell the Professor together—not that he probably doesn't already know."

"All right," Jubilee said.

"And congratulations again!" Kitty added.

Rogue nodded. "Thanks."

*** *** ***

Rogue looked down at her watch and noticed she was late for her meeting with Bobby and the Professor. She thought about contacting Xavier telepathically and letting him know she was on her way, but decided against it. It would be a miracle if Bobby was even there yet.

The fact she was rushing combined with her mind wandering as she contemplated just exactly how she was going to keep her doubts shielded from Professor Xavier, kept Rogue from paying attention to where she was going. She stumbled backwards as she ran right into something warm and hard.

"Hey, watch it there, Marie," the obstacle grumbled.

Marie looked up right into Logan's soul-piercing hazel eyes. _"Damn my luck,"_ Rogue thought. _"Sometimes I feel like my life is controlled by some angst-loving sadist."_ "Um, hi Logan."

"Where are you off to in such a hurry?"

"I have an appointment. Now if you don't mind…"

"What's that on your hand?"

"My, aren't you subtle."

"Subtlety has never done a damn thing for me," Logan said. "Now what's on your finger?"

"In civilized circles they call it an engagement ring. _Some_ men buy them for women they love."

"So you're gettin' married."

"Yes. I've found a man who deserves me and can give me the kind of life I should have."

Logan winced at the paraphrase of what he'd told her when he left. "You're still bitter that I left?"

"Bitter? _Bitter_! Logan, I wish I was just bitter. I _hate_ you. No, I beyond hate you. There isn't a word to describe what I feel for you now. I'm not bitter. Fuck bitter. And while you're at it, fuck you, too."

Rogue tried to walk away, but Logan grabbed her arm. "Marie…"

"Let go of me, Logan."

"Marie, please…"

"I'm not Marie! Marie doesn't exist anymore. Just Rogue."

"Don't do this."

Rogue grabbed her arm away from him. "Do what Logan? Walk away from you like you did from me? Live my life on my own the same way you have a million times before? What do you not want me to do? Because if you think I'm going to stand here and act like I actually give a damn about you, you're dead wrong. If you've taught me anything, it's how to stop caring, and that's what I'm going to do now. So just tuck your tail between your legs and run off to where ever it is you go to lick your wounds because I don't want you in my life anymore!"

"Marie, you can't push me out of your life like this."

"I can't? Why the hell not? Does it only work when you push yourself out?"

"I came back to try to make amends with you."

"Make amends with me? A little late for that, Wolverine."

"It can't be. Just because we can't be lovers, Marie, can't mean I've lost you completely."

Rogue laughed. "You're clueless. You lost me completely the moment you ran off in the middle of the night to save me from you, or whatever you were trying to do. You killed any feelings I ever had for you, so just leave me the hell alone."

Logan's only response was to grab her and kiss her. The moment his lips were on her, all Marie's conscious thoughts flew out the window, and she was kissing back.

"What…what was that for?" she asked as he pulled away

"Provin' you still have feelings for me."

Marie tried to collect herself. "Just because I responded to you kissing me does not mean I have feelings for you."

"Proves you're attracted t'me."
    
    "Well, duh. I'm a woman and I'm breathing, after all. But I don't want to be with you, if that's what you're getting at. Besides, I think I distinctly remember you leaving me."

"I made a mistake."

Rogue rolled her eyes. "Nice observation."

"I've missed you, Marie."

"And I've missed you, too! Let me throw away everything I have so you can break my heart again!"

"There ain't any need for sarcasm."

"Look, Logan, you told me to find a man who could give me the kind of life you decided I should have. Well, I did that, and now here you are telling me to throw it all away. Make up your damn mind!"

"I have. And I was wrong before. I love you."

"Well, guess what. It's too late."

Rogue walked away with a feeling of vindication.

*** *** ***

"Did the Professor seem to be acting a little strangely about our engagement to you?" Bobby called to Rogue through the bathroom door.

Rogue took her toothbrush out of her mouth. "No."

"Hmm. I guess I'm just nervous or something then," Bobby said.

Rogue rinsed out her mouth. "Yeah, that's probably it." She left out the fact that the Professor had pulled her aside afterwards and told her to follow her heart, even if it didn't seem to be leading her down the safest path.

"I know it's probably silly, but I can't help worrying now that Wolverine's here."

Rogue walked out of the bathroom. "Worrying about what?'

"Well, us."

"There isn't any reason to worry about us," Rogue said, trying to ignore how her knees grew week at the thought of how Logan had kissed her in the hall earlier.

"I know, I guess it's just a typical, involuntary reaction to the ex-lover of the woman you're going to marry showing up. Besides, knowing Logan he'll probably be gone in a few days anyway."

Rogue masked how badly Bobby's words had stung. "Yeah, probably."

Bobby moved closer to Rogue, running his fingers through the white streaks in her hair then wrapping his arms loosely around her waist. "Promise me something."

"What?"

"That you'll always love me."

"I'll always love you as much as I do right now."

Apparently that answer satisfied Bobby, because he pulled Rogue into a kiss and she didn't have to think for a while.

*** *** ***

Scott was carrying the trash out to the dumpsters behind the mansion when he found Rogue crouched next to a wall, smoking a cigarette, seemingly lost in her own world. He threw the garbage away before approaching her.

"I didn't know you smoked."

Rogue jumped about a mile in the air. "Um, I don't."

"So what are you doing out here hiding behind the dumpsters smoking a cigarette?"

"Okay, fine. I don't smoke—usually."

"That's a nasty habit, you know."

Rogue sighed. "I know, I just needed something to calm my nerves, and apparently your wife doesn't just 'dispense Valium as if it were candy.'"

"So this whole Logan thing has you pretty shaken up, I take it."

"What Logan thing?"
    
    "The Logan being back at the mansion thing."

"Oh, _that_ Logan thing. Why would I care about that?"

"You know, I'm not as dull-witted as most of you think."

"I'm just in denial, okay?"

"Denial is not a good state to be in."

"Actually, I've found that the State of Denial is quite lovely this time of year. Almost as beautiful as the State of Confusion."

"Rogue…"

"Look, Scott, I'm fine, all right? Or at least I will be. I just wasn't planning on Logan ever coming back, and now here he is trying to mess everything up for me. But I'll have my head back on straight soon enough, and then everything will be peachy." Rogue took a drag off her cigarette.

"Do you want to go back to Logan?"

"I swear, the next person who asks me that is going to find themselves in a freaking coma."

"I'm just worried about you. Logan tends to drive you to unhealthy behaviors."

"Gee, you think? Scott, I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine, really. I'm engaged to Bobby, I'm not going to go back to Logan, and I'm happy with that."

"You don't look happy."

"That's because you've destroyed my bubble."

"Destroyed your bubble?"

"Yes. The bubble I formed around myself when I came out here that was going to protect me from all the bad things for just a few minutes whilst I poisoned myself with tar, nicotine, and whatever else might be in this thing that could kill me." She flicked her cigarette. "But you had to come out here with your _seriousness_ and pop my pretty little bubble."

"Rogue…"

"I know, I know, I'm being overly-sarcastic. Look, just let me initiate the onslaught of lung cancer in peace, and I promise you, as soon as things get to be too hard for me to handle I'll come cry on your shoulder."

Scott gave her a dry smile. "I'll hold you to that."

Rogue smiled back. "Beat it, Summers."

Scott started to walk away, but stopped for a moment and called back to her. "Those things'll kill you."

Rogue just grinned. "Then more power to 'em."

*** *** ***

Rogue had spent all day with Bobby picking out china patterns, and it had been all she could do to keep from screaming. Rogue knew things were beginning to get to be officially too much for her. Here she was planning the ideal wedding and the ideal life with Bobby when every time she turned around she came face to face with Logan. She knew that marrying Bobby was the right thing to do, but she wanted Logan more than she'd ever wanted anything else in her life.

So she sat alone on the couch in the rec room drinking tequila straight from the bottle. She knew Bobby would be upstairs wondering where she was, but she didn't care. All she wanted was to get so drunk she forgot who she was.

Logan walked into the room to find Marie, more than slightly inebriated. "What the hell are you doing?"

Marie looked up slowly. "Drinkin' tequila. Want some?"

"No. Give me that." He tried to take the bottle, but she jerked it away from him.

"If you don't want any, why are ya takin' it?"

"'Cause you don't want any either."

"Yes I do."

"You've had enough."

"Uh-uh. I'm still able t'think some."

"Marie, why are you doing this?"

"Doin' what?"

"Sitting here all alone gettin' pissed."

"I'm not alone. You're here."

Logan knew better that to argue with a drunk woman, especially one who was drunk on tequila. "Okay, fine. Why'd ya get drunk."

"Because."

Wolverine gave a low, frustrated growl. "Because why, Marie?"

"Because I felt like it! Good enough reason for ya, Logan?"

"No."

"Fuck off."

"Marie…"

"It's _Rogue_, dammit! Now fuck off!"

"You need to go to bed."

"No."

"Marie…"

"ROGUE!"

"Fine. Rogue. You need to go to bed. You're gonna be miserable in the mornin' as it is."

"How will that be different from every other mornin' since you left me?"

"Please, don't do that."

"You're always sayin' that, Logan. What exactly am I not supposed to be doing?"

"Rubbin' in the fact I hurt ya."

"But it's so fun!" Marie exclaimed. "I love seein' that hurt look in your eyes. Reminds me of what I see every time I look in the mirror."

"Go to bed, Rogue."

"Fine," Marie said, tightening her grip on her bottle of tequila, "But I'm taking Señor Cuervo with me!" She stood up, but immediately fell forward, dropping the bottle so it smashed on the ground. Logan reached out and caught her. She looked up at him. "Oops."

"I don't think you're gonna be able to make it back up to your room."

Marie started to giggle.

"What's so damned funny?"

"I forgot how strong your arms are. Bobby's sorta scrawny."

"Yeah, I bet he is. C'mon, Marie, I'm gonna try t'get ya upstairs."

Logan tried to help Marie walk, but she was uncooperative, and they ended up toppling over together on to the couch. "Ow," she said from under him. "You're squashin' me."

"Sorry." Logan stood up. He started to reach down to help Marie get off the couch, but slipped in the spilt tequila and landed back on top of her, this time bracing himself on his arms so he wouldn't crush her.

Marie smiled up at him. "Well hello there, Handsome."

"Marie, come on, Darlin', I gotta get you upstairs. You're almost a married woman—this ain't right."

"You said 'almost.' So I'm not married yet, and this isn't wrong."

"Yes, it is." He tried to get up, but she wrapped her legs around him and pulled him back down. "Marie, let go of me."

"You don't really mean that," she cooed. "I can _feel_ how much you want me." She reached down and grabbed hold of the bulge that was forming at his crotch.

Logan moved her hand away. "Look, I want you, yeah, but not like this. You're engaged and well, more than a little drunk. This is somethin' you're gonna regret in the morning. Right along with drinking however much you did from that bottle of José Cuervo that just bit the dust."

Marie reached up and stroked his sideburns, and Logan couldn't help but nuzzle against her hand. "I could never regret making love to you…"

"Marie…" Logan croaked, his resolve breaking.

She put her other hand behind his head and lowered him down to kiss her. He crushed himself to her lips, ravishing her mouth. He no longer cared what kind of ring she was wearing or how much she'd been drinking.

That is, until he realized she had passed out.

"Dammit." Logan pushed himself up and stood over Marie's unconscious form. He extended his claws for a moment, letting the pain bring him back to reality, then retracted them and picked Marie up. He tried to wrap her arms around his neck so she'd be easier to carry, but she kept slipping. "Dammit," he cursed again as he realized she was out so soundly that she wasn't going to be anything but dead weight.

He carried her out of the rec room and up the stairs, cursing every time he hit her head or legs on the wall or banister. He reached the hall that both his and Marie's rooms were on and started to bring her back to her own room, but decided that Bobby Drake wouldn't exactly appreciate Logan of all people delivering his wife-to-be to him, drunk and passed out. 

Logan brought her to his own room instead.

He laid down in the bed with her, wrapping her arms around her and wishing they could be there together under better circumstances.

*** *** ***

Rogue woke up the next morning in excruciating pain, not remembering where she was or how she got there. She forced her eyes open, despite the fact that the light coming in from the windows was blinding, and took in her surroundings. "Oh shit," she said as she realized she was in Logan's room—although he was nowhere to be found.

"How the hell did I get in here?" she wondered aloud. She looked under the covers and saw she was fully dressed, which made her relax a little, but she was still uncertain of what exactly had happened. She remembered sitting on the couch downstairs—downing a bottle of tequila—but after that everything was blank.

Rogue looked on the beside table and noticed a bottle of aspirin, a glass of water, and a piece of paper. She figured Logan had left the aspirin for her, since he certainly wouldn't need it himself, and took a couple. She then picked up the piece of paper. There, scrawled in Logan's handwriting, was simply the word "sorry." Rogue rolled over on her back and stared up at the ceiling, feeling empty. He was gone again.

About half an hour, a few more aspirins, and a couple of mad dashes to the bathroom with her hand over her mouth later, Rogue made her way out of bed. She found her shoes by the dresser, put them on, and left the room. However, no sooner was she out the door than did Bobby walk up the stairs. He looked at her, looked at the room she was coming out of, and narrowed his eyes in anger.

"Bobby…this isn't what it looks like!" Rogue said quickly.

"Really? Explain what it is then, because it's looking pretty bad."

"I…I don't know!" Rogue said, wishing more than ever that she could remember what had happened the night before.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I mean I don't know! I was drunk!"

"Drunk?! What, so drunk you thought it would be fun to hop into the sack with Logan once more for old time's sake?"

"No!" Rogue said, cursing the pounding in her head. "I didn't do anything like that with Logan."

"Then why were you in his room?"

"I don't remember."

"So how do you know you two didn't sleep together?"

"Please, Bobby, don't yell at me."

"How do you know you didn't sleep with him?!"

"I just do!"

"Dammit, Rogue, I knew this was going to happen. I knew from the moment that Wolverine waltzed back into this mansion that you were going to cheat on me with him."

"But I didn't!" Rogue was crying by now.

"Funny, I don't believe you."

"Please, you have to. I didn't…I didn't do anything."

"Somehow that isn't very convincing. You know, I was worried sick when you didn't come to bed last night. I went to sleep, figuring you were probably just up late talking to Jubilee or something, but then when I woke up and you still weren't there, I thought something had happened to you. I never once thought that you might be right down the hall, screwing another man."

"But I wasn't!" Rogue said, adamant about her innocence. "I don't know how I ended up in Logan's room, but I _do _know I didn't have sex with him."

"Whatever, Rogue. You've been looking for a way out of this engagement ever since it began."

Rogue looked up at him, shocked at his words. "You didn't think I knew that, did you?" Bobby asked. "Baby, I'm not as clueless as you think I am. I could read the signs as plain as anyone else, I just didn't want to accept what I was seeing with my own eyes. I clung to the hope that it was a passing thing—premarital jitters and all that. But I can see now what it really was. Well, you wanted your out—your ticket to freedom and a second chance with Logan. Looks like you have it now. Don't expect me to be waiting to welcome you back with open arms the moment Logan stomps on your heart again."

Rogue wanted to tell Bobby it was too late, that Logan was already gone, but she couldn't find the words. Instead she sat down against the wall, pulling her knees up to her chin and sobbing. Bobby walked into their room and slammed the door.

The last time Rogue had felt as lost as she did then was when the door being shut in her face was her parents'.

*** *** ***

Logan came down the hall to find Rogue still in tears. He ran over and knelt in front of her. "Hey, what happened?" he asked, his face and voice both filled with concern.

Rogue looked up in surprise. "Logan! You're still here!"

"Yeah, of course I am. Why'd you think I wasn't?"

"Because when I woke up you'd left that note that said 'sorry.' I figured that was your way of letting me know you'd left again."

Logan smiled at her and held her tear-streaked face in his hands. "No, I didn't mean sorry because I'd left. I meant sorry because of last night and the fact that you were probably in a hell of a lot of pain when you woke up. Is that why you were cryin'?"

Rogue shook her head. "Bobby just called it off with me?"

Logan's expression became unreadable. "Why?"

"He saw me coming out of your room and assumed I'd slept with you." She looked into his eyes. "I didn't…did I?"

Logan shook his head. "No." He put his hands down at his sides. "We came close, but you passed out."

"Oh."

"Why was I in your bed then?"

"Actually, I brought you there because I was afraid Bobby would get mad at you if I brought you passed out to your room in the middle of the night. I didn't think about how he'd react if he found out you'd been in my room."

"Well, there's irony for ya," Rogue said, making a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a sob.

"Do you want me to talk to him for you?" Logan asked. "Maybe I could convince him that nothing happened and get him to take you back." He couldn't believe he was saying that, but if it would make Marie happy, then he would gladly do it.

Marie shook her head. "No, I don't want you to do that. Bobby said I've been looking for a way out ever since we got engaged, and well, in a lot of ways he's right."

"Why have you been doing that?" Logan asked.

"Because I'm still in love with you," Marie admitted.

Logan's only response was to kiss her.

*** *** **

To be continued…


	8. (8/9)

Chapter Eight
    
    Bobby slumped into a chair as soon as he got into the bedroom. What had just happened? Had he just lost the woman he loved?

Bobby thought over what had been said in the hallway. She had been adamant about not sleeping with Wolverine, maybe he had jumped to conclusions. Then again, she'd been coming out of his room after being gone all night…

Bobby sighed as he got out of the chair. Maybe he should at least listen to what she had to say. Why throw away what he had with Rogue based on circumstantial evidence?

He opened the door and looked out into the hallway. He saw that Rogue was still sitting by Logan's door, only now, she was in his arms. Bobby slammed the door, knowing that now, it really was over.

*** *** ***

Rogue pulled away from Logan when she heard a door slam. She looked down the hallway. "I think Bobby saw us," she said.

"Is that a problem?" Logan asked.

"Well, about ten minutes ago he was my fiancé," Rogue replied.

"You told me you're still in love with me," Logan said, kissing her up and down her jaw line. "Come back to me, Darlin'."

It was all Marie could do to keep from moaning at Logan's touch. She couldn't remember a time when he'd seemed sexier. "You'll…you'll hurt me again," she said, trying to keep focused.

"No I won't, Baby," he said, lifting her off the ground and into his arms. "You're gonna have to trust me."

"But how can I?" Marie asked as he started carrying her into his bedroom.

"Easy. Just love me." Logan put her down on his bed and took off her shoes and jeans.

"Logan…I'm tired and my head hurts."

"I know, Darlin'," Logan replied, pulling the covers up over her. "Get some rest. We'll talk more when you feel better."

Marie nodded, already drifting off to sleep.

Logan left her alone, shutting the door almost silently behind him.

*** *** ***

Bobby knew he'd have to face the world eventually, so after a few hours of sulking he resolved to go downstairs. Maybe he could go out and find a bar and get drunker than he'd ever been before. Why not just sit back and let his life become a country song?

He was on his way to the front door when he walked past one of the mansion's many dens and saw Wolverine inside the room, sitting on the couch and smoking a cigar. To Bobby, he seemed to be radiating arrogance, and the young mutant had never felt angrier in his life.

"You're not supposed to be smoking in here."

Logan looked up at Bobby standing in the doorway. "What do you want, Kid?" he growled.

"Besides getting the chance to spit on your grave? Not much."

Logan growled. "I ain't in the mood for this now."

"Oh, that's right, you have had a bad day, what getting the woman you love stolen by the man that's walked all over her a million times before. Oh, wait, that was me. Never mind."

"I didn't steal her from you."

Bobby glared at Logan defiantly. "What would you call it then?"

"If anything, she went t'me willin'ly."

"Why? Why after everything you've done to her would she run back into your arms like this?"

"I don't have an answer for that."

"You know, don't you?"

"Know what?"

"That you don't deserve her."

"Yeah, I know that."

"Then why are you doing this? Why couldn't you have just stayed away? I could've made her happy."

"Obviously not, since it sure didn't take her long to go back t'me."

Bobby fought to keep himself in check, knowing that Wolverine could make very short work of him. "She won't stay with you."

"What makes you say that?"

"Sooner or later she's going to realize what a bastard you are."

"And let me guess, when she does she'll go runnin' back to you."

Bobby shook his head. "Probably not. But it's still enough to know that one of these days, you're going to lose her, too, and then you'll be just as miserable as I am."

"You can wait for that to happen all you want, Drake, but Rogue's never gonna leave me."

"You say that now, but one of these days, you're going to push her too far."

Logan stood up. "That's a real nice prediction there, Kid, but right now I got a beautiful woman asleep in my bed and I think it's about time I went back up to her." He snuffed out his cigar out on the palm of his hand, put what was left of it his pocket, and pushed his way past Bobby.

Bobby left the mansion even more determined to find a way to drown his troubles than he had been before.

*** *** ***

Marie woke a few hours later to find herself wrapped up in Logan's arms. "I thought you left the room," she said.

Logan kissed the top of her head. "Good to see you, too."

"I didn't mean it like that. I just didn't expect you to be here when I woke up."

"I know."

Rogue reached up and placed her hand on his chest, only to catch sight of her engagement ring. "I guess I should probably give this back," she said, slipping it off her finger.

"You do want to give it back, don'tcha?" Logan asked.

"Yes. I want to be with you."

Logan took the ring from her and set it on the bedside table. "Well, you got me, Darlin'."

"Logan, I want you to answer something for me, and I don't want anything but the absolute truth. I have to know where I stand this time."

"What do you mean?"

"How long until you leave this time?"

"I ain't leavin', Marie."

"You really mean that?"

"Yeah, I do. I've been miserable ever since I walked out of your life. I can't loose you again."

"I'm giving up a lot to be with you, Logan," Marie told him. "I do want to get married some day and start a family. I could've had that with Bobby. Don't make me regret walking away."

"I won't, Marie. I'm here for you, I promise." He wrapped his arms around her, urging her to move closer.

Marie moved into the embrace. "I missed you."

"You won't ever have to miss me again, Darlin'."

*** *** ***

"I'm sorry, Rogue, I just can't support you in this."

"Jubilee! You're my best friend!"

Jubilee sighed. "I know, but I'm sick of it. I'm tired of sitting by and watching you do this to yourself over and over again. And what you did to Bobby…"

"I explained to you what happened."

"I don't care what happened, Rogue, the bottom line is you hurt him."

"I didn't mean to hurt him!"

"But you did. You turned your back on him as soon as Logan came back."
    
    "No! Jubilee, please, it wasn't like that! My relationship with Bobby would've ended whether or not Logan came back. I didn't love him enough to marry him!"

"Fine time to decide that, _after_ the engagement. Why didn't you say no when he proposed then?"

"Because I didn't know!" Rogue exclaimed. "I was confused when he asked and I thought I was doing the right thing."

"Well, you weren't!"

"I know that now."

The two women just stared at each other for a moment until Rogue finally broke the silence and said. "Jubilee, please, don't do this to me. I can't lose your friendship over this. You mean too much to me."

"Look, I'm not going to stop being your friend. You mean a lot to me, too. It's just, well, I'm not going to be there for you like I've been in the past. I'm not going to be in favor of this relationship you're in now in any way shape or form, and I'm not going to be there for you when Logan leaves again."

"Logan isn't leaving again."

"Riiight. And I'm going to sprout wings and start flying around the mansion."

"He isn't. He promised me he wouldn't."

"Oh come on Rogue. We both know that a promise from Wolverine is worth less than Monopoly money."

"I believe him this time."

"You know, you'd think with the life you've lead you'd be at least a little bit jaded by now, but no. You're still nothing but a naïve little Southern Belle."

"I don't need this from you, Jubilation."

"Yeah, well Bobby Drake didn't need you taking away everything he wanted in life."

"Well you know what, I don't live my life for Bobby Drake. I care about him, and I'm sorry he's hurting, but I'm not going to be miserable just so he can live in his little dream world."

"It used to be your dream world, too, Rogue."

"No, it wasn't. You don't get it, Jubilee. I loved Bobby, yeah, and we had a nice little relationship while it lasted, but there was something missing. A spark that just wasn't there for me. It's there with Logan."

"Big deal. So he lights your fire or whatever," Jubilee said, waving her hand in a dismissive gesture. "What's so important about that anyway?"

"Everything! The feelings I have for Logan, they make me want to live. When I'm with him, nothing else matters but the fact that we're together, and I know that no matter what, I'll be all right in the end. Why can't you just be my friend and accept that I love this man?"

"Because he isn't right for you!"

"That isn't your decision!"

"He'll hurt you again!"

"Maybe he will." Rogue said, giving Jubilee a look that let her know she wasn't giving in, "But that doesn't matter. "Being without Logan hurts. So why should I pass up a chance to be with him and be happy, even if it's only for a little while."

"Because if you were with Bobby then maybe your happiness wouldn't have to end."

"Have you not listened to a single word I've said?" Rogue asked, throwing her hands up in despair.

"Yes, I have, but none of what you're saying makes any sense to me."

"Then don't try to understand it. Just accept it as the way things are."

"Rogue…"

"I'm not discussing this any more, Jubilee. Either you are my friend or you aren't. You can't put boundaries like this on a friendship."

"And I can't stand here and watch you throw your life away for _Logan_."

"Then I guess you won't have to."
    
    Rogue walked away.

*** *** ***

"Here for the rest of your stuff?" Bobby asked as he opened the door for Rogue.

"Yeah." She took her engagement ring out of her pocket and handed it to him. "This is yours."

Bobby took it from her. "Gee, thanks."

"What do I have left here?" Rogue asked.

"Hmm. Let me see," Bobby said, walking over to the closet. He opened it up. "Well, this is probably yours," he said, throwing out a dress. "Yeah, this, too." He pulled out what was left of Rogue's clothes one by one and threw them across the room at her.

"Bobby? What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me? Nothing, Babe, just getting your clothes out for you. You've been slowly moving out of here for a week. I figured I might as well speed up the process a little. Would it be easier if I threw everything out into the hallway?"

"Why are you suddenly acting this way?" Rogue asked. 

Ever since after the initial break-up, Bobby had been reasonably amicable towards her, not pleading with her to stay or even yelling at her for leaving him. He'd been helpful when she'd come over the last few times to get her things to move over to Logan's room. Rogue had been afraid the other shoe would drop from the moment she noticed that Bobby was taking things relatively well, and now it appeared that it had dropped hard enough to put a hole in the floor.

"'Why are you acting this way?' she asks." Bobby threw his hands up in the air. "What, you can't figure it out. For the past week you've been flaunting your relationship with Logan, hanging all over him, smiling lovingly every time he walks in the room, and basically ripping into pieces whatever you left me with when you stomped all over my life. And everyone's been saying how nice it is of me to let you go, not to make things difficult for you. 

"Well, why the hell should I not make things difficult for you? You've made things pretty damn difficult for me. Did you stop and consider my feelings when you got drunk out of your mind and somehow found your way into Logan's bed? Why should I try to keep from causing you any extra pain now?"

"Bobby, I didn't mean to hurt you! And for the last time, nothing happened with Logan that night!"

"You know what, Rogue, I don't give a damn anymore whether you slept with Logan or not. It's no longer my problem who or what you fuck." He threw a couple more articles of clothing at her. "Get the hell out!"

Rogue gathered up what she could of what Bobby had thrown at her and ran out of the room.

*** *** ***

Marie moved past Logan as soon as he opened the door, tossed the pile of clothes she was carrying on the ground, and threw herself on the bed.

"Uh, this is probably going to sound like a dumb question," Logan said. "But are you okay?"

"No."

"That's the answer I was expecting." He sat down beside her on the bed and lifted her head so it was resting in her lap. "Wanna tell me what's wrong?" he asked, petting her hair and shoulder.

"I've been having what has to rank up there as one of the three worst days of my life, right after when I discovered I was a mutant and lost everyone I cared about, and when I was kidnapped and almost killed by Magneto."

"What happened?"

Marie sniffled, and Logan looked down to see she was crying. "Oh, well, first I got in this huge fight with Jubilee because apparently she isn't 'willing to support' my relationship with you."

"What business is it of hers?"

"None, but she thinks she can force me to correct everything she sees as a mistake."

"Is she still your friend?"

"I have no idea. Right now I don't even want to have to deal with her."

"So what's with the huge pile of clothes?"

"Oh those are from the other fun part of my wonderful day. Apparently, Bobby's tired of being nice to me about all of this. He flipped out on me today when I went to get the rest of my stuff from our—his—room."

"I'm sorry, Darlin'. I never meant to cause all these problems for ya."

"I know, Logan. And I'm not blaming you for any of this. It's just that Jubilee and Bobby have been close to me for a long time, and I hate to think I've lost them."

"You didn't think that Bobby was actually going to be fine with you leaving him did you?" Logan asked.

"No, well, I guess not. It's just that he's been okay the past few days, and I didn't expect him to go ballistic on me and start throwing clothes at my head."

"He threw clothes at you?"

"Yeah. They alternated with the insults."

"What made him finally decide he was angry?"

"Apparently he was sick of watching us together and pretending nothing was wrong for my sake."

"So he decided to take the exact opposite approach?"

"Looks like it."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah." Marie sat up. "Logan, can we go out tonight? I don't want to be here right now."

"Sure, Darlin', where do you want to go?"

"I don't care. Just any place but here."

*** *** ***

Marie looked around the restaurant Logan had taken her to. "Wow," she said. "No cigarette smoke, no bar flies, no unidentifiable, unpleasant smells. This is quite a change for you, Logan."

"What, I can't take you some place decent now and then?"

"I'm not complaining. Just a little surprised."

"Would you rather go some place else?"

"No, this is good."

"You look really nice tonight, Darlin'."

"Now that's gotta be just flattery. After the day I've had there's no way I can look anything but haggard."

Logan grinned. "You always look beautiful to me."

"The Wolverine a smooth-talker. Who woulda figured?"

"Smart mouth."

"When have I not been?"

"Well, let me think. Not any time since you met me." He laughed. "I can still remember you lookin' up at me and askin' me 'what kind of name is Wolverine.'"

Marie laughed, too. "I didn't think it was any better of a name than Rogue."

He took her hands in his. "Yeah, well, when we're together we're just Logan and Marie."

Marie smiled. "I like there being someone I can still be Marie with. Sometimes it's hard to be Rogue."

"I'll bet." Logan reached into his pocket and pulled out his dogtags. "Here. I want you to have these back."

Marie took them from him and slipped them over her head, smiling at their familiar and reassuring feel around her neck. "You know, I'm glad to be wearing them again."

"They look good on you."

"You just like it being this obvious that I'm yours."

Logan shrugged. "Yeah, well…"

"I like being yours, you know."

"I know."

"What is it made of anyway?" Marie asked, fingering the chain.

"What makes you ask that?"

"Well, um, see I was really mad at you once, so I threw them at my wall and they made this pretty nasty little hole."

Logan chuckled. "It's adamantium, Darlin'."

"That stuff that's all over you bones?"

"One and the same."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Wow. No wonder you're unbreakable."

"Yeah, no wonder."

*** *** ***

Marie walked into the mansion with Logan to their room feeling more content than she remembered ever feeling before. Even with everything that had happened to her that day, just being with Logan somehow made her feel like all was right with the universe. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder as they walked to their room, and she couldn't believe that only a couple of weeks ago she had been going to marry another man. 

As soon as they got inside, Logan grabbed Marie before she could switch on the lights. "Y'know," he began, kissing her down her neck and across the top of her shoulder with every word, "I…must…be…the luckiest…man…in…the…world."

Marie giggled. "I'm a pretty lucky woman myself."

"I think we're both about to get luckier," Logan growled against her ear.

"Oh? What makes you say that?"

Logan hoisted her up into his arms and carried her over to the bed. Marie sighed in contentment. She knew then what true bliss was.

*** *** ***

Rogue watched as her class filled out of the door. "Don't forget to read the chapter on the fall of the Mesopotamian Empire!" she called after them, doubting any of them paid her a bit of attention.

One of her students peeked her head into the door. "Hey, Miss Rogue, your boyfriend is coming down the hallway. May I just say he is one mighty fine lookin' man."

Rogue giggled. "Yeah, I know. Now get on to your next class. And don't forget your reading assignment. Just because homework isn't written doesn't mean it's nonexistent."

The student gave her a thumbs up sign and said "You got it!" before darting out the door.

Logan walked in a moment later. "Well, if it isn't the mighty fine lookin' man himself," Rogue said with a smirk.

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"That's what one of my students just called you."

"I'm flattered."

"So what brings you down here."

"Haven't seen you all day since you were gone before I woke up," Logan said. "Oh, and to tell you that a pipe burst above us and our room got flooded."

Rogue turned pale. "What? Please tell me this is your version of a joke."

"Wish I could. Don't worry, nothing was ruined. Everything's a little damp, the carpet's soggy, and there are these really loud fans everywhere drying it all out, but other than that it's fine."

"Where are we sleeping tonight?"

"The Professor set us up in one of the guestrooms. He said we can stay there until ours dries out."

"Is there anything in our room that I can salvage for the time being, or is it all wet?"

"I went through your clothes, found the driest, and brought them over to the other room."

"You are so wonderful."

"I know."

"So where is this other room?"

"I'll meet you after your last class and we can walk there together."

"All right, that works. My next class should be walking through the door any minute now, so I'll see you then, okay?"

"Sure thing, Darlin'." Logan leaned across her desk and kissed her. "Love you."

"Love you, too."

*** *** ***

"So exactly how bad is our room?" Marie asked once she'd settled into the guestroom.

"Let me put it this way," Logan said. "Every time you walk on the carpet you hear a squishy sound and water flies up and hits you in the face."

"Did you just say 'squishy'?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

She burst out laughing. "That's funny."

"How is that funny? That's the sort of sound it makes. Squishy."

Marie laughed harder.

"Hey, this is serious, you know. The carpet might have to be replaced."

"Why do you care? It isn't your money."

"Good point."

"Say it again."

"Marie…"

"Please?"

"Squishy," Logan muttered under his breath.

"You're so cute."

"Glad you think so."

"So how long will our carpet be squishy?" Marie asked, trying unsuccessfully to stifle a giggle.

"I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

"Not as long as I'm around."

"So I guess I'll be hearing it for a while, since I certainly don't plan on making it so you're not around any time soon."

"I should hope not!"

Logan smiled at her. "So you like the word squishy, huh?"

"It's so cute when you say it!"

"You know, I don't think anyone but you has ever referred to me or anything I do as 'cute.'"

"That's because with you, 'cute' is an understatement."
    
    Logan raised an eyebrow. "Understatement?"

"Yep. Greek god-like gorgeous fits you a bit better."

"Okay, now that's an _over_statement."

Marie shook her head. "Nope. You are the sexiest man I have ever seen."

"Don't get out much?"

She lightly hit him on the arm. "Logan…"

Logan took her by the hands and lightly pulled. "C'mere."

Marie smiled and let him pull her into his lap. She snuggled up against his chest. "I like it here," she said.

"I like you bein' here."

"So never stop holding me, okay."

Logan hugged her to him tighter. "You got yourself a deal, Darlin'."

*** *** ***

The next day Marie went alone up to the squishy-floored room to survey the damage and make sure Logan didn't forget anything she needed.

She was only in there for a couple of moments when the telephone rang. She picked up the receiver.

"Logan?" the voice at the other end of the line asked before Marie even had a chance to say hello.

"No, this is Rogue. Who's calling?"

"Can you get me Logan?" the strange woman asked. Marie noted that she had a very definite Asian accent, most likely Japanese.

"He isn't here, but I can get him to call you back if you'll leave your name and number."

"My name is Mariko Yashida, and Logan knows my number. Tell him he must call. It is urgent."

There was a click and the other woman was gone.

Marie hung up the phone.

*** *** ***

Logan got home late that evening to find Marie waiting up for him. "Hey Baby," he said. He leaned over and tried to kiss her, but Marie moved away.

"What's wrong?"

"Who's Mariko Yashida?"

All the color drained from Logan's face. "Where the hell did you hear about her?"

"She called you earlier."

"Did she say what she wanted?"

"No. Just that it was urgent."

"Dammit." He went over to the phone, practically pushing Marie out of the way to get to it. He dialed the numbed quickly and from memory. The ensuing conversation was in Japanese, which prevented Marie from understanding anything but the inflection in Logan's voice. That alone, however, was enough to make her sit on the edge of the bed and glare at the back of his head the whole time he was talking to Mariko.

"I have to go," Logan said as soon as he hung up the phone.

"What!?" Marie yelled, jumping up. "You can't go!"

"I have to."

"Where? For how long?"

"I can't tell you."

"No! Logan, you promised you wouldn't do this again."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know at the time that something like this was going to happen."

"So what, some woman calls and all the promises you made to me go out the window? What, am I just your girl at this port?"

"Marie, dammit, you know you mean more to me than that! Now I don't have time for this shit right now, so don't pull it."

"Logan, I don't think I'm the one acting irrationally here. You say you love me, that you want to be with me, and you won't ever leave me, then the next thing I know you're going off and you won't even tell me where to."

"It's just better if you don't know where I am."

"Can't you at least tell me how long you'll be gone?"

"No."

"You promised you wouldn't leave again."

"Look, Darlin', I'm sorry I have to break my promise to you, but this is real important. Mari needs me to help her out."

Mari… It sickened Marie how much like her own the name he called her was. "Well then go to _Mari_," she spat. "I don't give a damn anymore."

"Marie, please don't. I need to know you're gonna be here for me when I get back."

"When will that be?"

"I don't know."

"Can you answer me one question then?"

"Maybe. What is it?"

"Is she an old flame?"

"Marie…"

"Answer the fucking question Logan!" Marie yelled, suddenly so angry she was shaking.

"Yes. I loved her once."

"Great. Now I feel so much better about you leaving."

"You asked, Marie."

"You're an asshole."

"I've never denied that."

"Just get out. If you'd rather be with her than me, then fine, go. I don't care anymore."

"Marie, it isn't that I want to be with her more than you! I love you! It's just I have to help her. I can't turn my back on her."

"Why not? You've turned your back on me plenty of times."

"Not when it really counted."

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that?"

"Marie, I don't have time for this. I have to be on the next plane outta Westchester." Logan went over to the closet and grabbed out a bag that was already packed, thanks to the disaster upstairs that had made him move all his stuff.

"I won't be gone forever," Logan said. Marie was sitting back on the bed, her face hidden by her hands. Logan knew she was crying. He reached his hand out, almost touching her. "Marie…"

"Go."

"Marie, please."

She looked up and ripped his dogtags from her neck, throwing them at his feet. "Get the hell out!"

Logan gave her one last look before leaving.

As soon as he was gone, Marie slumped from the bed to the floor. She grabbed the dogtags and clutched them tightly, crying the way she had years ago when Logan loving her had been nothing but a dream.

*** *** ***

To be concluded…


	9. (9/9)

Chapter Nine

When Marie woke up alone the next morning, she found herself grateful that she wasn't in Logan's room. She wouldn't have been able to stand being alone with so many memories.

She got ready for class almost mechanically. She couldn't believe this had happened to her again, that she'd let Logan in only to have him leave her the same way he had before.

Marie sat down on the bed and tried to access any of Logan's memories that might have had something to do with Mariko. She couldn't find anything clear, but that really didn't surprise her. It had been so long since she had last absorbed him on the Statue of Liberty, and many of his memories had started to fade. Besides, Marie had no way of knowing when Logan had met Mariko. For all she knew, it could've been after he'd fallen in with the X-Men

But he had said he'd be coming back. And he hadn't said it was over between them or that he was going to be with Mariko. Marie picked his dogtags up from her pillow and put them back around her neck. She could cling to the hope that he would come home to her soon.

Rogue tucked his dogtags into her shirt and walked out into the hall, ready to face her day with forced optimism.

*** *** ***

Over the next couple of days, Rogue noticed that everyone around her seemed to be walking on eggshells every time they spoke to her. Logan and his current whereabouts was never the topic of conversation, and many people avoided having a very in depth discussion with her about anything at all. She knew that they thought Logan had left because of her, or that their relationship had ended and Rogue was broken hearted ,and she wasn't particularly in the mood to sit down and set them straight. Besides, she didn't even know where she stood with Logan. What if he fell back in love with Mariko Yashida and never came back at all? What if he came back only to tell Rogue it was over for good this time?

Rogue found herself restless at night. She wanted them to be finished laying the new carpet in her room upstairs. The fear of being alone with Logan's memories had been replaced with the desire to be near anything that could keep her believing he'd come home to her.

Logan had been gone a month, and he hadn't even called. That didn't really surprise Rogue. He'd never called before, and she hadn't expected that to change now. She'd moved back into their room, and she couldn't decide how being there made her feel. She decided to drown out the silence with background noise from the television or radio so she wouldn't have to think.

Soon, almost all conversations had dwindled down to pity-filled looks, and Rogue felt as if she'd been reverted to the untouchable girl who'd arrived at the mansion so many years ago. Her friends never came around anymore; she ate all her meals alone. If it weren't for her classes, and Jean's continued understanding—which Rogue attributed to the fact that her powers allowed her to know what Rogue was truly feeling—she would've had almost no contact with other people at all.

It was during the third month of solitude that Rogue realized she'd given everything away for Logan, and now she didn't even have him.

It was then that the emptiness came.

*** *** **

"You should tell Rogue."

"Kitty, I haven't talked to her in months, and this isn't exactly something you can just walk up to someone and say."

"Sure it is. She has a right to know."

"You tell her then."

"No, Jubilee, _you_ need to."

"You've seen how Rogue's been acting ever since Wolverine left her high and dry—again. For all I know, she wants him back and she'll flip out on me when I tell her."

Rogue stopped short when she heard the conversation between Kitty and Jubilee. She knew she shouldn't be listening since it was obviously not something she was meant to hear, but she couldn't bring herself to walk away either.

"She probably should. You basically killed the friendship over a choice she made that really wasn't any of your business and then hooked up with her ex and didn't even bother to tell her. Wait, make that not only kept from telling her, but actively worked to hide it from her as well."

__

"My ex?," Rogue thought. _"Jubilee and _Bobby_?! Well, I guess I should've known that was a possibility after the way she reacted to me hurting him."_

"You're one to talk, Kit. When's the last time you sat down and shared some quality time with Rogue?"

"We're not talking about me here. Besides, you have to admit that Rogue hasn't been the easiest person to get close to these days. She's been so distant."

__

"Yeah, because being close to anyone has meant being surrounded by pity loosely veiled by 'friendly' smiles, and you've been the queen of it. Anyone would distance themselves from that, Katherine."
    
    "Yeah, probably because she's gone back to her old routine of sitting around and pining for Logan as if getting him—and keeping him—is actually an obtainable goal for her. You'd think she would've grown up by now," Jubilee said.

__

"And talking about people behind their backs and sneaking around with a guy are two incredibly mature behaviors," Rogue thought sardonically.

"Don't be so harsh on her, Jubilee," Kitty said. "Look at her situation. She has the perfect relationship with Bobby, one based on real love, but she makes the mistake of throwing it all away for the physical attraction she has with Logan. She confuses lust for love, but Logan—of course—knows the truth. He gets what he wants from her, gets bored, and then leaves her alone and brokenhearted. Once the dust settles, and she starts to see things clearly again, Rogue realizes that she's lost the love of her life and her best chance at happiness. How else could you expect her to react?"

Rogue gaped in shock at Kitty's words. _"Is that really what they think?"_

"Yeah, I know. It's just hard to put up with her and her fantasy world sometimes."

Rogue had heard enough. She stormed into the room, glaring at her two supposed friends. "I can't believe y'all!" she yelled. "_I'm_ the one living in a fantasy world? From what I just heard it sounds like the two of you are the delusional ones here. For one thing, I don't want Bobby back in any way, shape, or form. That relationship was never meant to be. Jubilee, if you can give him something I never could, then great, I'm happy for the both of you. 

"And as far as Logan is concerned, we're not broken up. He had something he had to take care of and he left. Yes, when he left we were arguing and things aren't exactly the best they've ever been between us right now, but it's nothing bad enough to throw me into the depths of despair as everyone seems to think. And if you people think that Logan and I aren't sincerely in love, then fine. You're wrong, and I thought that people who once called me their best friend would know me better than that, but apparently that isn't the case. 

"And as of now, I don't particularly care what you think about how what I feel for Logan, Bobby, or anyone else for that matter. You can take your opinion of me and my love life and shove it. I'm an adult, in a relationship with another adult and that's no one's business but mine and Logan's. If you want to sit here and pick apart everything in my life and put intentions that I've never even taken into consideration on my every action, then fine, go right ahead. Ever since Logan left everyone's been deciding how I feel, keeping away from me because of it, and then dubbing me closed-off and emotionally unstable. Well, that's just fine. I don't give a damn about any of you anymore."

Rogue walked away, leaving both Kitty and Jubilee dumbfounded.

*** *** ***

It was four months before Logan came home. Rogue was sitting on the couch in the living room talking to Jean when he came in, and he didn't even bother to stop as he walked past.

Jean and Rogue exchanged surprised looks, and Rogue quickly got up and ran after him. She caught up with him at the top of the stairs. "Logan!"

He stopped and turned around with obvious reluctance. "What is it, Marie? I ain't exactly in the mood to talk right now."

Rogue glared at him. "After running out on me for four months you better be in the mood to talk."

"Later."

"No, Logan. There's no later. There's here and there's now."

"Fine, what do you want to know?"

"Did you fuck her?"

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Is that all you think about?"

"Well, seeing as before you got that phone call I was the woman you professed undying love to, but you ran off as soon as she crooked her finger at you, I'd have to say, yeah, that's pretty high on my list of concerns."
    
    "I was only helping her."

"For four months?!"

"She needed a lot of help!"

"You're the one who needs help."

"Look, Marie—Darlin'—I still love you, okay? Mariko's just an old friend that needed me."

"Then why couldn't you call me or write or anything while you were with her? Why did you do to me what you promised you'd never do again?"

"I'm sorry. It's just that there are some things in my life you can't be part of. If you're going to be with me, you're gonna have to understand that."

Marie's expression went cold. "Okay, Logan. I understand that."

"You all right?"

"Perfectly fine."

"I'm goin' to our room to unpack and get some rest. Meet me up there in a little while, okay?"

"No problem, Logan."

Rogue walked back down the stairs to finish talking to Jean.

*** *** ***

Logan was sleeping when Marie came into the room. She climbed on the bed with him, leaning over him. His eyes opened, and when he saw her he started to say something, but she put her finger to his lips to silence him.

"Shh. Don't say anything. Just make love to me."

Logan rolled her over, more than happy to give her what she'd asked for.

*** *** ***

**__**

I don't wanna lose you,  
I don't wanna use you  
Just to have somebody by my side  
And I don't wanna hate you  
I don't wanna take you  
But I don't wanna be the one to cry  
That don't really matter to anyone, anymore  
But like a fool I keep losing my place  
And I keep seeing you walk through that door

Logan woke up slowly, trying to figure out exactly what he was hearing. Music? He looked over at the clock. Three twenty-seven A.M. Why in the world would he be hearing music? Then he heard another sound, softer, more delicate than the song. Crying. He reached out and realized Marie's side of the bed was empty.

**__**

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much  
And its sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust  
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are  
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
    
    He sat up and looked around the room and found her sitting by the window. She was wearing headphones, and he realized that was where the music was coming from. She had them turned up louder than what was probably good for her ears, and with Logan's heightened senses he was able to hear the song fairly well. He got out of bed and walked towards her.

**__**

Now I could never change you  
I don't wanna blame you  
Baby you don't have to take the fall  
Yes I may have hurt you  
But I did not desert you  
Maybe I just want to have it all  
It makes a sound like thunder  
It makes me feel like rain  
And like a fool who will never see the truth  
I keep thinking something's gonna change

"Marie?"

Logan's voice and his hand on her shoulder made Marie jump. She slipped the headphones off her ears and down around her neck with the song still playing. 

"Logan, you startled me."

Logan crouched down beside her. "Why aren't you in bed?" he asked, his voice so tender and full of concern that Marie thought the pain inside her was going to make her explode.

"I couldn't sleep."

**__**

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much  
And its sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust  
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are  
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough  
  
And there's no way home  
When it's late at night and you're all alone  
Are there things that you wanted to say  
Do you feel me beside you in your bed  
There beside you where I used to lay

"Come on back to bed, Darlin'. It's cold over there without you."

Marie nodded. Logan took the headphones from around her neck and turned off her CD player. He then stood up, took her by the hand, and led her back to bed.

Marie moved close to Logan, wrapping her arms around him and burying her head against his shoulder. "I love you," she said. "No matter what happens, don't ever forget I love you."

Logan kissed her forehead. "I won't, Darlin'. I promise you, that's one thing I'll never forget."

**__**

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much  
And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch  
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are  
Cause baby sometimes love just ain't enough  
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough

*** *** ***

Logan woke up a few hours later to find the bed without Marie again. He looked around the room and saw she wasn't in there. He frowned as he realized most of her things were gone as well. 

He got out of bed and went over to the closet. Her half was empty. Panic hit Logan. He got dressed as quickly as he could and ran out to try to find Marie.
    
    He found her downstairs sitting on the couch. "I was wondering when you were gonna wake up," she said.

"Marie, what the hell is going on?"

She stood up and walked over to him. "I'm leaving, Logan."

Logan didn't quite now how to process what she had just said. "Leaving? Leaving _me_?"

Marie nodded. "Yes."

"But you can't."

"I have to."

"Why?" Logan heard himself ask the question although he knew the answer. He knew exactly why Marie was leaving and he wished he could go back and change everything he'd ever done to hurt her. He couldn't believe he'd been blind enough not to realize how much he'd been pushing her away.

"Because I can't live like this anymore, Logan. I can't live with you. Since I was seventeen years old I've never known where I stand with you, if you're even going to be in my life from one day to the next. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, probably more than I ever _will_ love anyone, but I've cried more tears of pain over this relationship than I have tears of joy. This just isn't good for me, Logan. I need to find a new way to live—a way to live without you."

"Marie, please, stay. I'll change, I'll let you in my life. Please, Baby, don't do this to me. Don't leave me."

Marie unhooked his dogtags and put them in his hand, mimicking what he had done the first time he had left her. "You're gonna have to take care of these yourself now."

"No…Marie. Marie, I don't want you to leave. I don't want to lose you."

"Sometimes less than what you want has to be enough."

Rogue walked away from him and away from the mansion, forcing herself not to look back.

Logan stared at the closed door, holding his dog tags as he heard Marie's car drive away.

*** *** ***

**__**

And If I'm not over you by the time I get to Georgia  
Then I guess I'll be Alabama bound  
There was a time when I'd do anything for ya  
But this time, baby, I won't turn around  
  
I always wanted to get married, and I thought you were the one  
But you never, ever asked me, and I was tired of hangin' on  
You know a girl can only be let down so many times before she runs  
And now this little bitty town's only got room for one of us, yeah  
  
You always said I'd never leave, and if I did I wouldn't go far  
So I know how I must look, with my tank 'a gas and beat up heart  
Well baby, I'm gone for good, you can count on that  
Yeah, I'm gonna keep headin' west 'til I'm too far gone to come back, yeah  
  
And If I'm not over you by the time I get to Georgia  
Then I guess I'll be Alabama bound  
There was a time when I'd do anything for ya  
But this time, baby, I won't turn around  
  
I only got ten miles to go before I cross the state line  
I can feel my hands shakin'  
'Cause they usually turn the wheel around about this time  
I heard that same ol' voice inside, I had to drown it out  
So I found me a radio station playin' something fast  
And I turned it up real loud  
  
And If I'm not over you by the time I get to Georgia  
Then I guess I'll be Alabama bound  
There was a time when I'd do anything for ya  
But this time, baby, I won't turn around  
  
There was a time when I'd do anything for ya  
But this time, baby, oh I won't turn around, yeah  
No, I won't turn around   
  
If I'm not over you by Georgia, then I'll head to Alabama  
Roll on to Mississippi, or maybe Lou'siana  
I'll drive all the way to California  
Oh, I won't turn around  
No, I won't turn around  
No, I won't turn around  
No, I won't turn around   
I won't, I won't turn around, no I won't turn around

*** *** ***

Soundtrack:

Song: "How Long Gone"  
Artist: Brooks and Dunn  
Album: _If You See Her_

Song: "Walking on Sunshine"  
Artist: Katrina and the Waves  
Album: _Edge of the Land_

Song: "Sin Wagon"  
Artist: Dixie Chicks  
Album: _Fly_

Song: "Maria"  
Artist: George Strait  
Album: _One Step at a Time_

Song: "T-R-O-U-B-L-E"  
Artist: Travis Tritt  
Album: _T-R-O-U-B-L-E_

Song: "Hit Me with your Best Shot"  
Artist: Pat Benatar  
Album: _Crimes of Passion_

Song: "I'll Never Break your Heart"  
Artist: Backstreet Boys  
Album: _Backstreet Boys_

Song: "Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough"  
Artist: Patty Smyth and Don Henley  
Album: _Patty Smyth_

Song: "Georgia"  
Artist: Carolyn Dawn Johnson  
Album: "Georgia" CD-Single


End file.
